Monday, June 3, 2013

You Googled What?! - Italians are Confusing

Whenever I'm having a down day, the weird people of Google know just how to cheer me up. It's time for another installment of You Googled What?! Let's find out what weird things people googled that led them to my blog.



hey, nobody told me there be math
I hate it when nobody invites math, but there it be anyway.

Never marry an italian girl
Husband, is that you?

Marry an italian girl
Google is at odds with itself.

italian women love on stage
You wish. 

monkey stairs banana cartoon
Is this a real cartoon? Because I would totally watch it.

you googled what
Google is starting to mock itself

All I want is sleep and food
Pretty much.

how to marry an italian woman         
Hmm, maybe watch The Godfather for ideas. Whatever you do, do your best not to end up with a horse head in your bed. 

ryan gosling sees you eat bread it makes me sad
I'm sorry, but I don't care how you feel. Ryan is looking at me.

hey girl did you know my boobs asian girl
I don't even know what to say. And it's possible I'm offended on behalf of girls. And boobs. And Asians.

for the love of the dog 
is now my new favorite saying

making love to an italian woman
is awesome

how make italian woman love you
Honestly, are we that confusing?

Bacon telling off kid
Why can't these things happen in real life?

what to expect from an italian woman
Loud talking, passionate gesticulations, food, more food, guilt, even more food, guilt for not eating food, passionate talking, beating a dead horse, food, lots of guilt. And also? Guilt. "Why aren't you eating? Don't you like it? If you loved me you would eat."


Comment gem!

And there's nothing worse than sand in your vagina.
Unless it's a small dingle in your vagina.
Then I'll take the sand.
Maybe.
   

15 comments:

  1. Italian women are apparently quite sought after, hu? Too bad you're already taken!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, why can't we see bacon tell off a kid? I mean, we can put a man on the moon and make Franken-salmon but we can't figure out reanimated sassy bacon with a penchant for juvenile discipline? Priorities, people.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am glad to see there is a one-stop shop for advice relating to the wooing of Italian ladies! To think, I used to have to go to half a dozen websites to get all the intricacies.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ahem, where is "never marry an italian man"?!? I know lots of fodder for that one!

    ReplyDelete
  5. i just love the picture for it!!! what about...just don't marry?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Making love to an italian woman... is awesome? See, now you've got me all curious. Where's my butt book.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I hate myself for getting married before I've made love to an Italian woman! HAR!! ;)

      Delete
  7. Oh for the love of the dog! Now I'm craving Italian food. And bacon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think everywhere it says "Italian woman" you should replace it with "Italian sausage"

    ReplyDelete
  9. We just had dinner with some neighbors--the guy is straight from Italy. He made us pizza. Real pizza. I wish I were an Italian woman so that I could make pizza like that. The end.

    Oh, and Italians are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yum, I love Italian food, should have married an Italian girl so I could inhale pasta not stop. What, too much?

    ReplyDelete

I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.