Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Houston, I Have a Problem

I have an unhealthy obsession with Apollo 13. As in, the movie. I could watch it once a day, every day for the rest of my life and still not get enough of it. (I suppose I could remedy that by watching it twice a day every day for the rest of my life, but then people might think I'm weird.)

I'm not sure what it is about that movie that draws me to it like a bug to a bug zapper (thankfully my fate is not the same as that of those stupid insects; although sometimes I think my mental capacity is on par with theirs).

Perhaps it is the cast:
Bill Paxton? Yes, please.
Tom Hanks? Yes, please.
Gary Sinise? Yes, please.
Kevin Bacon? Did someone say BACON?!!!!!! Please sir, can I have some more?
Ed Harris? Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes

Maybe it's because it's not just a story but a story that really happened. It's truly a miracle that we (you know, cuz I had a lot to do with the success of the mission 12 years before my conception) were able to bring those guys home.

I don't doubt those things play a part in by obsession. But honestly? I think I'm turned on by all the intelligence. I'm not trying to suggest that I get all hot and bothered (yes I do) when they create a filter for the carbon dioxide scrubbers from the Command Module to work with the ones on the LM (and with that statement, everyone just stopped reading). I'm just saying that I appreciate a man with a big, huge brain who knows how to use it.

If I was in the command room when all that mess was going down, I would have thrown my arms in the air, shaken them wildly about while running from one end of the room to the other screaming, "What are we going to do! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOOOOOO!" until I exhausted myself and collapsed in a heap on the floor and peed my pants (clearly I'm good to have around in a crisis).

As soon as I finish watching the movie, I think when am I going to get to watch it again? Sometimes the answer is, right now! And I start it over again.

This is embarrassing. Why am I telling you guys this?

Lately, the urge it watch has been overwhelming. Last night, even though I was very, very tired, I just couldn't take it anymore and decided I had to watch. There was one small problem...I couldn't find the DVD.

I looked in the cabinet under the T.V.

Not there.

I looked in the DVD stand in our bedroom upstairs.

Not there.

The panic that had started in my stomach began to spread throughout my whole body. Where could the DVD be? Did someone steal it? Did the dogs eat it? In a fit of cleaning frenzy did I accidentally throw it away? (This possibility was quickly rejected due to my lack of cleaning frenzies ever.)

The husband was already in bed and asked me if I could turn off the light on the fan.

"I'm sorry but I cannot help you. I am dealing with a crisis right now. Much like the astronauts on Apollo 13."

Suddenly, I knew exactly how Jim Lovell, Fred Haise and Jack Swigert felt when that Master Alarm went off. The only difference in our situations was that they had a room full of engineers and rocket scientists helping them work the problem and I had two dogs (who took advantage of my absence in bed by laying on my pillow) and the husband who was more concerned with the bright overhead light impeding his ability to drift into dreamland than my state of duress.

Thankfully, he's smart enough to know that sleep would forever elude him if I didn't locate my beloved movie so he offered a helpful, "When was the last time you watched it?"

"I don't know! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."

*cue sobbing*

Finally, I decided to check the DVD player (which is actually a Playstation 2) and there it was, Apollo 13. My precious.

My relief was short-lived. I pressed play and there was no sound.

*cue hysterics*

The husband, realizing the only way to fix this very traumatic situation was by taking a more active role, got out of bed and began fiddling with cords.

This is what the astronauts must have felt like when they realized they'd lost two of their fuel cells.

I, very helpfully, assisted the husband's efforts by unplugging the red, yellow, and white cables and very forcefully shoving the boy parts back into the girl parts (not recommended with humans, by the way) to ensure a proper connection. It didn't fix the problem, but thanks to the husband's big, huge, smart brain (or maybe just basic knowledge of cable connecting) the sound was restored.

Halleluj-


Just like the astronauts, I couldn't catch a break. Now the controller wasn't working. Instead of the solid red line indicating a properly functioning instrument that would allow me to press play, there was a flashing red line. Just like the Master Alarm!

My breaths started to come faster and were more shallow. My vision became cloudy and I started to feel dizzy. 

This is what the astronauts must have felt like when the level of carbon dioxide started to rise.

This time, unplugging and forcefully re-plugging the cord worked and the sweet taste of victory was mine! I could finally watch my dearly beloved Apollo 13.

I pressed play, moved the dogs off my pillow, settled into bed and thought I'm going to enjoy this even more because I had to work so hard for it. I'm going to be filled with so much more tension now that I know exactly the fear they experienced. This is going to be THE BEST VIEWING OF APOLLO 13 EVAH!

Fifteen minutes later, I was a sleep.

Comment gem!
 
Oh my god trumpet horn guy is for sure after you. Please be safe. Answer me. ANSWER ME.

11 comments:

  1. Apollo 13! Are you kidding me?

    and there's the part, where Ken Mattingly is in the cold, dark simulator with only a flashlight and a notepad, trying to come up with the start up procedure for the command module without going over the amps they have left in the batteries!!!

    Don't get me started on Apollo 13! There's absolutely nothing wrong with you at all!

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  2. You have a serious problem. You don't know that?

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  3. I have to say I'm glad I'm not alone. While I love Apollo 13, that's not a current obsession. I have a tendency to watch Pride & Prejudice and Hunger Games a lot. Also? Many others I'd hate to bore you with at this juncture. Again, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Obsess on.

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  4. So me telling you that Apollo 13 is not it for me.. I could watch Armageddon over and over. Seriously the end scene where Bruce Willis sacrifices himself for the world.. box of Kleenex please.

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  5. Hahahah thank goodness for men who fiddle with cords for us. It's always a production to get a dvd working at my place.

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  6. I haven't watched this in ages. I am totally doing so the next chance I can get if it is on Netflix.

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  7. I like the part where the guy they leave behind is fine but the one that went gets sick!

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  8. So glad you found your bedtime pacifier, ummm I mean movie.

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  9. all I know about Apollo 13 is that they used fuel cell batteries because they generate water as waste which can be used as drinking water.

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  10. Hahahaha are you serious? Well, it's a great movie alright, but it seems to me you need to make that phone call to your friends in Houston alright. ;)

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  11. I knew we were friends for a reason! One of my favorite favorite favorite movies!!

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