Monday, March 25, 2013

Unbalanced

My life lacks balance. I don't possess the ability to do all the things life demands of me. Or I demand of myself. And  by "all the things" I mean "more than two." As in, woah, woah, woah. You want me to go grocery shopping? But I already planned to do the dishes and pluck my eyebrows today.

It's  not that I'm lazy, it's that I over commit. When I commit to doing something, I REALLY do it.  I do it so hard that everything else is sacrificed. When I'm working on my novel, days can slip by without  me noticing. My house could crumble to the ground around me, and I would sit at my computer, typing away in happy oblivion.

While that sounds like every writer's dream, (and it is certainly preferable to the dreaded writer's block) it does start to pose some problems. Like needing to purchase an industrial razor because the hair on my legs is starting to look like Chewbacca's. (Personally, I'm okay with the whole mountain woman meets ape look, but the husband, unfortunately, is not.)

In 2011, I quit my job to focus on writing full time. In May 2012, I decided to go back to work. The position is only part-time, which I thought was perfect. I could work (thereby contributing to my shoe obsession) and write. Unfortunately, my brain lacks a shut-off valve. One that says: You have completed your 20 hours of work this week. It's time to focus on something else. Like your poor neglected novel.

When I'm not actually logging work hours, I'm thinking about work. I should call this person, send this email, write this article. Since I am only equipped with a regular brain and not a SUPER BRAIN, I can't think about those things while simultaneously experiencing Darcy's angst over whether the hot football stud really likes her or is setting up an elaborate practical joke at her expense. (The life of teenager is so hard, you guys.)

Not only am I not writing, but I'm not blogging, tweeting, or facebooking. Which makes me a little sad, because I really like all those things. Lately, all my days consist of is working, cleaning, cooking and working out.  In case you weren't counting that's four things, you guys. FOUR. Four is pretty great. Four is something to be proud up. Except that those four are really all about one: work. Instead of focusing on my core while doing lunges, I'm thinking why won't Mr. Big Shot at the Big Shot Factory return  my call?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job. I really do. I believe in what I'm doing, and I know it's making a difference in a lot of people's lives. And I get to work with some really amazing women. Women like my friend who has the super-human ability to work full time (at an incredibly demanding job), be a mom (to a little one with another one on the way), wife, friend, chair a major fundraising event, and be active in many community organizations. It's inspiring to watch her as I curl into the fetal position and try to decide whether to brush my teeth or shave my legs? Brush my teeth or shave my legs? BRUSH MY TEETH OR SHAVE MY LEGS?!

*Sigh*

I don't know how all you amazing, multi-dimensional, do-it-all women do it. I once read (from Jen at Maybe If You Just Relax) that you can do anything if you don't have a choice. Maybe that's what I need. To view the things in my life as a lack of choice.

Or maybe...I need a cape! That's how super heroes accomplish all their heroic deeds, right?

Right.

Today, I'm calling an audible. Instead of washing the sheets, checking emails, and cutting my split ends, I shall search for a cape that will give me super powers. Or maybe even just regular powers. I'd settle for those too.

Behold The Sarcasm Goddess! She possesses the ability to accomplish more than two things in a single bound at least four bounds!

Comment gems!

Chevron deserves to be pissed on. It makes my eyeballs dance.

At least it wasn't inserting cheerleaders into your vagina.



19 comments:

  1. I completely understand where you're coming from .. with school every week I have 2 lab reports due and just those two things sometimes feels like a million and so what if the dishes don't get done, or dinner cooked... I HAVE LAB REPORTS DUE! ..lol

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  2. Oh my gosh, this SO sums me up, too! I quit work a few years back to stay home with our new son while focusing on writing. I got to do that for a year before finances required going back to work. Now I get to work part-time (about 4 hours a day) at my professional job while spending the rest of the day with my kids (two boys now), working out, writing, and taking care of the house and family--which, luckily, the hubs helps a lot with when he gets off of work. My older sister always says, "Dude, pick one or the other. Only the crazy moms work part-time and stay home the rest of the time--because they're the busiest ones of all. You have to do it all!" This is not meant to be a woe-is-me comment b/c I'm so happy that I get to do it all. But you have just written how I feel. It is so hard to shut one aspect off and focus fully on another. Great post!!

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  3. As long as the cape is bedazzled I am in! I definitely work better with deadlines. I need to be forced to get things done or I start getting distracted by non-essential tasks- like catching up on my DVR.

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  4. I know several of those super women/moms. I used to want to be like them. Then I became the secretary to the swim team parent board. Now, I am counting down the days to the end of my term and am very content not being able to juggle more than I do. However, I do understand where you're coming from and enjoy your sense of humor!

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  5. At one point I worked 3 jobs. I was fortunate enough to usually get Sunday off between all 3 . . . But then all I did was work on my day off, too! Now I'm looking for work and bored out of my mind with Unemployment f*cking with me by sending me 10 different envelopes that say something different. One of which says they "cannot verify my identity" - when according to the damn paperwork they sent me, they have EVERYTHING right. WTF?! So now I have to job hunt, fill out forms and mail them back on VERY specific days, do some sort of phone interview to tell them how much my previous boss hated me, and go into town to prove I am who I am. I'm exhausted and it's only the beginning. LOL

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  6. I'm going to quit reading you again... (I finally got the subscribe to work, I thought you had just been eerily quiet for a ridiculously long time on here...turns out, I was never set up right or something...because google hates me.)
    But...I'm going to quit reading you again... Not because I don't adore you... but because you LITERALLY could just write MY blog for me most of the time. I know we've examined the creepy way we seem separated at birth (*cough* plus 10+ years apart) but this post? I've written elements of it twenty-six-thousandy times already...and just today? I started looking at quotes about this topic...my inability to do more than one thing a day, really. EITHER I work...OR...I clean something random (never the logical things...) Soooo...can you order me one of those capes when you find one? In a size HUGE because I haven't focused on my core in so long I think I don't have one anymore...

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    1. Oh. Yeah...
      “Housework can kill you if done right.”
      ― Erma Bombeck

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  7. When my life gets unbalanced, I get very crabby. No one likes "Jen Unblanced", so this is something I'm always working on. That's the way it goes....

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    1. That's why "reinventingrobin" has been my username for about 10 years now...I'm ALWAYS working on that LOL

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  8. Yay!!! You remembered us!! I can't turn my brain off, but it's usually a song that gets stuck in my head, only just a portion of it. I'm talking all day, all night. I do think about work when I log out and take a nap because of a headache since that's really not allowed and now when will I make up the time. Aren't you glad you don't have a child (they eat and have clothes that need to be cleaned and have to go places and stuff - oy).

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  9. I work a 40/week day job, deal with the kids - teens, blog, beta read, critique, read, and oh yeah, sometimes I write. I don't keep them all running smoothly though. As you noted, house cleaning is not on that list and neither is grocery shopping or cooking. Those get done, like reading, writing and blogging, whenever I feel up to the challenge.

    I get around to shaving my legs about once every two months. No hubby to badger me into looking good for him :)

    .......dhole

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  10. Shaving your legs? Ain't nobody got time fo' dat! (Has that line played out yet? It's so useful.)

    I love that you drew a cape-I am drawing a cape in my next post too!

    Also, what drives me crazy is the work that never ends. Clean something? It gets dirty again. Finish a report? There's another one to write. Graduate a child from services? There's another one to pick up. Where do they keep coming from??

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  11. My friend: you have just found your new header...
    Also?
    I work a full time job and have a toddler and can't decide whether to shave my legs or brush my teeth. Brains are stupid.
    They make you over think, loose sleep, and give your headaches.
    I call bullshit.
    Start drinking more.

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  12. Mountain woman ape hair blowing in the wind is sexy. At the very least it provides traction.

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  13. The hair on your legs is starting to look like Chewbacca's? Oh dear. Now what? Are you telling me you only have any average brain? You don't have a super brain like that bug in Starship Troopers? THIS one... If the answer is no, I'm actually relieved.

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  14. P.S. We're about to fly to the most beautiful place on earth. Care to join in on the fun? Where? Well, HERE of course.

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  15. When one area of life is going well and in order, other areas fall apart. It's an insane juggling act!

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  16. I don't believe in the super woman myth. I think they all crack at some point. Or there are some pills involved, or I don't now...a fricking genie. whatev.

    If all 3 of my children survive the day, and I manage to brush my hair and get out of my pjs: really, that's a most excellent day.
    anything else deserves a reward.

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.