This sounds like some sort of sick fetish I don't want to know about. No judgment, though.
Most embarassing condom moment
For me, it's when you misspelled embarrassing.
don't share your hairbrush or hat
Unless you want to get brain bugs and dieeeeeeee!
how to write a secret society
If we told you, it wouldn't be an a secret anymore. Duh. Honestly, sometimes you just don't think.
sarc, my second favorite asm meaning
This one just makes me sad.
When boobs and a penis meet
This has the makings of a love story! I hope it has a happy ending.
Ew! Wait, not THAT KIND of happy ending. A love story happy ending. You know, where they get married, have ki...never mind. You guys are perverts.
Piss on Chevron
The peeing cheerleader can probably help you out with that.
Wacky modern day miracle for kids
It's not enough that a miracle occurred, it has to be wacky too? Some people are never satisfied.
Insert into my vagina
You're fired cute
FYI, there's no cute way to tell someone they're fired. It just makes you look like an even bigger asshole.
what italian wemen like
We like for you to know how to spell.
put your head in my boobs
Please see answer above re "insert into my vagina."
panic attack infecting my brain in an hour i'll be okay
Finally! I can be of some use. Here's a diagram I made awhile ago to help explain twitter to new users. (click to enlarge)
vodka never disappoints
Thank goodness, cuz after this, I need a drink.