Wednesday, February 6, 2013

You Googled What?! - Thank Goodness for Vodka

It's time for another edition of You Googled What?! - where I highlight the weird things people google that lead them to my blog. As usual, the googlers did not disappoint. For previous editions, check out the tab at the top!

Cheerleader peeing
This sounds like some sort of sick fetish I don't want to know about. No judgment, though.

Most embarassing condom moment
For me, it's when you misspelled embarrassing. 

don't share your hairbrush or hat
Unless you want to get brain bugs and dieeeeeeee!

how to write a secret society
If we told you, it wouldn't be an a secret anymore. Duh. Honestly, sometimes you just don't think.

sarc, my second favorite asm meaning
This one just makes me sad.

When boobs and a penis meet
This has the makings of a love story! I hope it has a happy ending.

Ew! Wait, not THAT KIND of happy ending. A love story happy ending. You know, where they get married, have ki...never mind. You guys are perverts.

Piss on Chevron
The peeing cheerleader can probably help you out with that.

Wacky modern day miracle for kids
It's not enough that a miracle occurred, it has to be wacky too? Some people are never satisfied.

Insert into my vagina

You're fired cute
FYI, there's no cute way to tell someone they're fired. It just makes you look like an even bigger asshole.

what italian wemen like
We like for you to know how to spell.

put your head in my boobs
Please see answer above re "insert into my vagina."

panic attack infecting my brain in an hour i'll be okay

Twitter's diagram
Finally! I can be of some use. Here's a diagram I made awhile ago to help explain twitter to new users. (click to enlarge)

vodka never disappoints
Thank goodness, cuz after this, I need a drink.

Comment gem!
If you're nice to it, maybe it will one day transform into a sweet ride. And then you can go to balls and things.

(But beware, if seen disembarking such a conveyance people may say you've gone out of your gourd.)


  1. Oh holy god. I thought "seagull meat" and "rainbow lint" were odd. I think I need a new mapper. lol

  2. I'm sorry, I'm new here. Are these the google searches that led people to your blog? Or...just like, a pastime you enjoy? Either way it's pretty cool.

    1. Sorry! I should have explained that. These are things that people google that lead them to my blog.

      P.S. I'm so happy you're here!

  3. That twitter diagram is excellent. A reminder why I'm scared of tweeting :P

    1. twitter is indeed terrifying. but in a good way.

  4. Dude, I SO needed this laugh this morning. Your diagram is brilliant. You could teach Twitter 101 for sure!

  5. I've been away from blogging for a while and really, this was the most perfect welcome back! I love you like Googlers love to search for messed up shit!

    And for the record, Sarc is definitely my FIRST favorite asm meaning.

    1. Sarc is definitely a good asm, but so is that other one...

  6. How did I miss that awesome Twitter diagram?!

    I feel like I should get a medal of some kind for surviving the Twit for several years.
    Yes, vodka will do :)

  7. I'm quite impressed by the "Piss on Chevron" concept as a radical approach to regulating companies. Do you think any of these googlers found what they were looking for in your blog?

  8. I think you should write the love story.

  9. Good thing it wasn't a cheerleader doing #2.. That's where I draw the line. ;)

  10. At least it wasn't inserting cheerleaders into your vagina.

  11. Chevron deserves to be pissed on. It makes my eyeballs dance.

  12. A great post that made me smile.

    Haven't been to visit in a while! thought I'd pop in and say HI.


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