Thursday, January 17, 2013

I Resolve to Be Better at Being Terrible

I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I'm good enough at failing without resolving to do so.

If you ask me, the whole concept of resolutions, at the new year or otherwise, is flawed. People resolve to end bad habits, make better choices, live healthier lives. They are aiming to do things they are terrible at doing. It's no wonder they fail.

If I did make new year's resolutions, I would resolve to be better at things I am already good at.

Like procrastination.

Spend three hours doinking (favorite word I just made up) around on the internet and then do laundry? I'm already excellent at that. But can I spend four hours doinking before cleaning my clothes? I'm pretty sure I can. And if I fail all that happens is that I have clean clothes sooner. If I succeed, I've met my goal, gained a tremendous sense of accomplishment and the husband gets to learn how to fashion a pair of underwear out of an old t-shirt.

Everybody wins.

I love eating. I am very good at eating. Which is great thing because apparently my hand and mouth have resolved to EAT MORE FOOD this year. You see, if you resolve to do things you are already good at, you may end up doing them accidentally, which makes you feel extra successful and awesome. Except, you know, when you can no longer button your pants and get winded walking up a flight of three stairs. Minor details.

As 2012 came to a close, I began looking through some of my blog posts from the year and came up with a brilliant beyond brilliant idea. I should do a bloggy year in review where I share some of my favorite posts from the year in one blog post!

*everyone faints from excitement*

But then! I went one step further and thought, I should do a linky where other bloggers can post their favorite post or two from the year and it can be a great way to find new bloggers or read posts that we may have missed from some of our favorite bloggers! (That actually makes me sound more noble than I really am. Yes, I want you guys to connect with other bloggers. But in truth I was motivated by more selfish reasons. There are so many great blogs out there that it's impossible for me to keep up with them all. A linky would be a great way to check out some of the greats I'm not aware of.)

I was incredibly proud of my idea and I promptly did nothing with it. (Please reference procrastination mentioned above.)

But now! Now is the time. Seventeen days after the start of the new year I am announcing...

The Procrastinators' Year in Review!

Two weeks from now, on January 31st I will be hosting a linky open to all bloggers. Link up one or two of your favorite posts from 2012 and/or link up one of your most favorite posts of another blogger! And please, spread the word so we can meet lots of new bloggy friends!
The date again is January 31st, because what better day to celebrate last year than on the last day of the first month of this year!


Comment gem!

One time, some creeper who clearly had a foot fetish kept telling me I had pretty feet. In the golf aisle. At Wal-Mart. And I was about 5 months pregnant. My feet couldn't have been that pretty. Ew.

17 comments:

  1. Awesome.

    I love to eat too. And I also procrastinate.

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    Replies
    1. If only we could procrastinate when it comes to eating.

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  2. Im in too, SG, because this is a brilliant idea. If your resolution was to come up with brilliant ideas, then you're winning.

    What is another name for an empty circle?
    A procrastinator's pie chart.

    Its funnier with a visual.

    O

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  3. This is a super idea!
    I'm going to obsess over what posts to pick for weeks now.

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  4. What an awesome idea!
    Of course, in the spirit of the event..I'll be choosing my posts to link up at the Last Possible Second.

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  5. I'm afraid that I'll procrastinate in finding a decent post to link up and then I'll never do it and then I'll be a giant failure. All thanks to YOU. Thanks.

    ;)

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  6. ...what better day to celebrate last year than on the last day of the first month of this year... Sounds logical.... um... I like that. I myself like spending money. I totally suck at saving money, so I'll just take your excellent advice and do what I'm really good at. I mean, last week I bought two suits in under a minute. Under a minute! I'll do it. I'll save the economy all by myself, and it will all be thanks to you. :)

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  7. Well, that's a refreshing way to look at resolutions--I never make them either--you're right. We always let ourselves down.

    Love the idea of your blogfest. It's been done before and is always popular. I'll spread the word in my post which is due to go up any minute, so I'll have to speedily hop back home and add it to the list of 'fests etc I'm blogging about.

    Denise

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  8. Whaaatttt! A chance to recap to a favorite previous post. I confess, I am a blog hop slut so I'll be back.

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  9. I don't think I have just one (or two) fave post(s) from last year, 'cause I love them all equally, 'cause anything I ever post is awesome. ;)

    Denise mentioned you on her blog and said you are sarcastic so I figure I am safe leaving my own sarcastic comments here too (and this isn't part of the sarcasm, just f.y.i. :)).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I know! We should create a separate linky for all awesome people so we can post ALL OUR POSTS! Denise will never steer you wrong - sarcasm is welcome here!

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    2. I loved your post! I don't make resolutions, either...I figure if I can fail at any point in time, I can begin a resolution whenever I darned well feel like it, too! I'll try to pop back for the 31st!

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  10. Can you please draw a future post of your husband fashioning underwear out of an old t-shirt??

    I want to join your linky because I like linkies, I like to pimp out my blog, and I wanna see what the bacon is going to make me to drink.

    ReplyDelete

I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.