Friday, December 14, 2012

A Modern Day Miracle

 25 Days of Christmas Blogging
Day 14

The following conversation happened today when I was shopping at Macy's for a gift for the husband:

The cashier rings me up and asks if I'd like a box.

Me: No.

Cashier: Ya just going to throw it at him?

Me (laughs): Yes. Here you go, here's your present.

Cashier (pretending to be me): And this is how much I paid for it. Actually, I paid less than that cuz the cashier had a coupon.

It was clear to both of us that I was jokesky about the whole thing and she was all regretsky about the bastard she had married.

Cashier: Yeah, you have to be married awhile before you start throwing stuff at each other.

Now, in my mind I'm thinking she means married for 25 years. You know, awhile. But then...

Cashier: Yeah, just wait until the second year of marriage and you'll be like, "I buy you crap all year, now I have to buy you something else for Christmas?"

Me: I've been married for seven and a half years.

Cashier (eyes bulging from her head): And you're not at that point yet?

Me: No.

Cashier: Huh. Well maybe your marriage will last.

I was overwhelmed with Christmas spirit, you guys. Over. Whelmed.

It kinda reminded me of that other story that took place at Macy's. You know, the one where the department store hires an old man to play Santa but a miracle occurs when he turns out to be the real Santa and inspires hope and brings joy to all.

My experience was just like that, but with less hope and joy and greater chance of divorce, apparently.

Comment gem!

Great Christmas Balls of Plum Pudding! That is beautiful, and only mildly insane.

How long does it take to create that masterpiece? And to DUST it?

Merry Christmas, clearly have enough Christmas spirit to compensate for my lack of it this year!


  1. I like that that you say {as|like} my friend thanks

  2. Just went to visit my friend Pickleope the Great and what name did my blue eagle eyes zoom in on: 'The Sarcasm Goddess' (Better make that capitals). I just couldn't resist. She was all regretsky about the bastard she had married, alright. That's so perceptive of you. I've been marred, I mean married, for almost three months and I, too, am not at that point yet. I wish some stranger would tell me maybe my marriage will last. It would mean so much to me. Now excuse me while I go and blow my nose. This is such a strain on my feminine side. It gets me all emotional.

  3. It's a possibility that you caught her at the wrong time of day. Seeing as how I'm at just about that point in mine (just finished one whole year of not-divorcing!) I can tell you that the time of day matters. For example, if you had caught me about two hours ago I might have gotten all regretsky on you. But I'm over it now and back to being glad to be married...


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