Wednesday, November 28, 2012

You Googled What?! - Thanks A Lot, Jennifer



Here we go again. People are weird. They google weird things. Google sends them to my blog.

 

Spider bites on penis
Oh, honey. He told you they were "spider bites"? Don't worry. I'm sure they totally are. Totally. Here take this cream for your hoo-ha. You're going to need it later.
 
“peed on the side” 
Is this like dressing on the side or boys on the side?
 
Meme in ya butt
I think I'll skip that one.

I love an Italian woman
My condolences

Why isn’t he putting a ring on it
Honestly. It isn't as easy as it sounds, people! Damn that Beyonce.
 
Can’t even look in the mirror Jennifer
Yeah, way to go, Jennifer.  Look what you did now, Jennifer. You should be ashamed, Jennifer.
Um, guys? Why are we so mad at Jennifer?
 
Boobs and penises
Can't have one without the other! Or something...

I miss you cute puppies
Aw, I miss the cute puppies too!

What is acceptable moaning and grunting in gym
If we can HEAR you, it's not acceptable. Grunt and moan in your own home on your own time.

Monkeys and fireworks
Please refer to comment about boobs and penises

Can french onion dip cause gas
Do I look like a doctor to you? Gas is gross. Please come back when you're less disgusting.

One boob out
Because two would be inappropriate.  

Donut playing kickball
Please let this be real life and not just the stuff of my fantasies.

Comment gems!

I'm crying laughing. It totally looks like a wiener. A wiener I left sitting on a plate on the counter last night. Also, I couldn't find the bloody parts, so I cooked a turkey last night, bloody parts in its bag inside and all. My husband will be laughing for weeks.

I am laughing so much. At least you know which end of the turkey to pull things out of - the one year I did it for Christmas (yep, ONE, was enough to put us off turkey for life) I pulled and chopped at the slimy dangly things only to realise that the majority of the slimy things had already been removed and lovingly placed in a bag. A bag which was then hidden in it's neck cavity. A bag none of us knew existed until we had cooked it and someone remarked how much it tasted like burnt plastic. Never, ever, EVER again.



14 comments:

  1. I absolutely love these posts! But then it also makes me feel sad that people don't find my blog by searching for boobs and penises. You are one lucky lady!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the boobs and penises for me! None for you! Ok, maybe one boob for you.

      Delete
  2. Spider bites on penis. Huh.

    Get out, dude. Just get the hell out.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha. I am still laughing at the neck wiener.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "If we can HEAR you, it's not acceptable" - this could be applied to so many areas of life....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Meme in ya butt. But of course. I mean, where else?

    ReplyDelete

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