Friday, October 19, 2012

Secret Society! Secret Society!

Sometimes, being a Goddess is exhausting. Wearing cute shoes, having shiny hair, being awesome, it's enough to wear any deity out. In order to cope with the overwhelming pressures, it's important to surround yourself with fellow goddesses, those amazing ladies who understand the extreme standards you strive to maintain every. single. day.

It's not always easy locating other Supreme Beings. After all, not every woman you meet is a goddess. That woman in front of you in line at Wal-Mart with the mullet wearing knee-high purple boots with the fur and a shirt that says While you were reading this, I farted? Is not a goddess.

Thankfully, we have the blogging and twitter world to make up for Wal-Mart's goddess deficiency. I have met so many super fab woman since I began blogging that I decided it was high time to acknowledge them, not only to recognize their awesomey goodness, but to provide a resource to bloggers in need of the support of other goddesses. And what better way to do that than to form a society?  A Super Secret Society of Awesome Goddess. And by "secret" I mean "not a secret" but still super and also? Awesome.

I am so excited to announce the first member of the Super Secret Society of Awesome Goddess that I just peed a little. She is without doubt the Coffee Goddess and she's undeniably the supreme being of all things thong onesie. She is the one, the only, Coffee Lovin' Mom. Not only is she awesome on the interwebs, but she's awesome in real life. I know, because I met her. Oh yes I did.

We shut the place down. Literally. They had to kick us out.
 I admit, as I was driving to our agreed upon rendezvous point I was worried that she might not actually be that cute girl who appears in pictures on her blog, but a middle - aged fat guy with a comb-over who spends his days in his mother's basement scratching his balls while pretending to be a cute woman who loves coffee.

Rest assured, everyone. She is just as hot as she appears.

Now, without further ado, I bring you...Coffee Lovin' Mom.

BACON vs. SAUSAGE


While usually, you can find me talking about coffee and family- which are never topics for debate in my case, they just come with the package - I'm branching outside my comfort box here today to talk to you about the Big Debate. No, I'm not talking about the presidential debates - you can sigh relief here - we are discussing more serious issues than middle class taxes, immigration and gas prices, this is about the future of our country and our children people!

I'm speaking today on the topic I debate about the most when it comes to breakfast planning - Bacon or Sausage. These two morning tantalizers have long been coveted by meat eaters as the most important meal of the day. The staple meats in the breakfast world if you will.
In the realm of sausage, there are so many more options - links or patties, maple or spicy, kitchen sausage or bedroom sausage, making it a good candidate coming out of the gate. Biscuits and sausage gravy weigh heavily, sticking to the ribs in the swing states and could easily tempt voters to sway.
A wise woman once said, "There's only so much room for sausage."

Then there's the bacon. You can bring it home, you can fry it up, cold or crispy, it's quickly becoming the crowd pleaser. Not only does it come in bits, sandwiches, pancakes and dog treats, it can really be added to just about anything including ice cream and milkshakes, enhancing the flavor of everything; giving it an extra advantage in the long term polls not to mention endless recipe possibilities.

Case in point: Bacon wrapped sausage.
See what that just did? Jump in the polls right there.
Whether or not you've debated about breakfast meat at one time or another, it's hard to deny (or explain to kids) how it all comes from the same animal. There's no five point plan when it comes to swine. Even Big Bird will tell you, fried up pork is not an anytime food unless you like your cholesterol high.
Leave my insides out of it!
While I could bore you by listing all the pros and cons of each, pointing out the fat content, calories, cholesterol or protein all of which bacon has less of depending on quantity of course - I decided instead to go right to the quality source and get some opinions from the real voters themselves. I put the question out to the Twitterverse and Facebookwide; I think you'll find the results were pretty astounding.
The race was surprisingly close on twitter - 47% in favor of sausage and 53% for bacon. Meanwhile on Facebook, it was much more of a landslide being a whopping 87% in favor of bacon and only 13% for sausage. If I had a pie chart to show you here, you would see that bacon is the favored chocolate covered candidate.
 Don't deny yourself sausage in the face of bacon! Don't leave yourself out of the running - please vote for your favorite breakfast meat in the comments! Thank you for your support. I'm the Coffee Lovin' Mom and I approve this message.
***
She's awesome, isn't she?
Be sure to check out her blog.
And you can stalk her on twitter and facebook.

Comment gems!
Just Keepin It Real, Folks!: I never understood the whole pillow case thing used to hold your candy. That is so upper crust high class. I'm used to redneck country where we pull out a trash bag and hit the streets for some serious swag.
Meredith Price: Hahahaha! Trick or wine...BEST IDEA EVER GIA!! :D
I have never understood Trunk or Treating either, it sounds like a pedophiles idea of heaven if you ask me.

13 comments:

  1. I love that you added our meeting in here! Thanks for having me, glad to be in the secret society - you always remember your first!

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  2. Sausage all the way! Sorry, but I've never been a fan of Bacon. I even pick it off of pizza...

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  3. I prefer cheese. Always cheese.

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  4. Ba! Con! Ba! Con! Ba! Con!

    Also, I love that Coffee Lovin Mom got to wear the goddess glasses too!!

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  5. I got to meet her too!!! And I agree, she truly is one of the legit goddesses. yay for you guys!

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  6. Thanks Marianna! I actually met you gals about a week before meeting the goddess when I went to Florida - fun times!

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  7. Both of you girls together? Oh my! I'm on sensory overload.

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  8. i love bacon. i love sausage. bacon wrapped sausage? i think i might have just blown a few synapsis!

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  9. bacon.
    that would be Canadian back-bacon of course.

    although, dip it all in maple syrup and I'll be your breakfast lovin goddess forEVAH! I may even wash a dish.

    Love that Coffee Lovin Mom is wearing the goddess mask too! I just knew she'd be really fabulous.

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  10. This is awesomesausage! Yes, sausage is my choice of breakfast meat. Mmmm Mm!

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  11. A Secret Society?! Coffee Luvin' Mom?! Bacon v. Sausage debate?! Isn't that too much awesome for one post?! Here? Nah. It's just right! :>

    And the answer is bacon. Definitely, bacon. ;>

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  12. This is the most important incidence I am assessment your display and soaring belief with the purpose of you post leader paragraph which give user lot of in turn with mention to alert meeting point tribute projected for this assign.

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  13. I will hand in all my sausage and bacon forever if I can have all the chorizo. Forever.

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.