Saturday, June 30, 2012

You Googled What? -The Baffling As Ever Edition

Fasten your seatbelts and hold on to your buttcheeks, folks. It's time for another edition of You Googled What? The monthly feature that sheds light on the sick, disturbing and downright baffling google searches that land people on my blog.

Does your UPS guy know you
If he does, he probably wants to kill you

Ecards – shove it up your ass
When Hallmark isn’t enough to say how you really feel, send an ecard.

hey mom someone from the gyna colleges office called
Well aren't you a clever little vagina.

i think i'm a hooker
Did you receive something in exchange for sexy time? Then you're a hooker. It's really quite simple.

ryan gosling pissing 
Congratulations, you're officially a stalker. Also? Disgusting.

ryan gosling penis
honestly, people! He’s a person, you know. Not just a piece of man flesh.

Peeing cheerleader
It happens to the best of us.
 
“forgot how to walk” “my diaper” bottle
Ugh. Please tell me the adults with the Imma Baby, Wipe My Poopy Butt Fetish haven’t found my blog.

Brown cow goddess
Sarcasm. Cow. Same difference.

Marrying an Italian woman
All I can say is, good luck.

Shove it on your ass
When shoving it IN your ass just won't do.
 
How to have sex with the UPS guy

Invite him inside. Take your clothes off. You'll be surprised how easily the rest will follow.
 
The word penis
Is not as awesome as the word vagina.

"50 shades" redundant 
Don’t even get me started

"massage my feet" brat humiliation
Uhh...I don't even want to know.

10 comments:

  1. I "Googled", 'Much loved and adored blogger who his zillions of followers eagerly await his next must-read posting.' To no surprise, my name showed up on my screen.
    I landed on your blog, because that's where the pilot on 'Blog Air', the blogger's favourite airline, decided was a really neato type blog with such amazing information and deeply philosophical meanings. With that, my comment will abruptly end.

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  2. This is so funny. Nothing overly weird on mine, but I hope whoever was looking for 'contortionist looking up their own ass' was suitably satisfied.

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  3. Laughed so hard over the gyno colleges office one. HAHAHA! Either someone has no clue whatsoever, or is the worst speller.

    Also, if you have sex with your UPS guy, then he knows you. Whether you want him to or not. Hoping it wasn't the same person had the two different searches. lol And I'm pretty sure, the UPS guy won't be Ryan Gossling.

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  4. Is it weird that I'm sad I don't get really fun searches? The most exciting one I have is "was just walking on it but once." What does that even mean? I may have to rethink what I write about. Maybe I should write about penis's (or is the plural peni?) and vagina's.

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  5. Ha. I do these once in awhile on my blog as well ("Word Search" posts.) The best as of late--and I use "best" loosely--was "naked ass nuns" and "midget squirrel thongs." Sorry, can't help you there. People are weird.

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  6. Gyna colleges office. Haven't laughed that hard in awhile :)

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  7. I think you should be proud that someone out there agrees with your review of 50 Shades! And yes, Ryan Gosling is a human...but he's also a piece of man flesh.

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  8. ryan gosling? I don't get him, that skinny white boy would break like a twig under my fatness. What? Too much?

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  9. These just kept getting better and better. I was laughing so hard my husband ran up the stairs to see why. Then he started laughing. The poopy diaper fetish people did us in!

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  10. Ha! This is great. That last one is so full of WTF.

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.