Thursday, June 28, 2012

This is Why I Don't Follow the Rules

Guess what? I got another bloggy award.

I know. It amazes me too that you people like this stuff enough to nominate me for anything other than a lifetime membership to the Society of Crazy People Who Need to Be Medicated.

At least I assume you like it. I choose to believe you're giving me these awards of your own free will, not because someone has a gun to your head.

Today's award comes from Susannah of Write, Rinse, Repeat. If you are not reading her stuff, you are missing out on some serious awesomeness. She has me cracking up on the daily.



As per usual, the award comes with rules. You guys know I normally shun the rules, but since I have nothing noteworthy to blog about I will play along. Kinda.

THE RULES:
1.  Thank and link back to the awarding blog.
2.  Answer seven questions.
3.  Provide 10 random factoids about yourself. 
4.  Hand the award on to 7 deserving others.

I plead the fifth on number two. But here's my attempt at number three. It will soon be clear why I should avoid the rules entirely. For my sake and yours. Especially for yours. Also, math was never my strong suit, so I may provide 10 facts and I may...not.

1. Sometimes I wish I was (were?) Canadian. Or Australian. Cuz I like the way they spell things. Like behaviour and uh, other words that I can't think of right now.

2. I had something else to say here, but I forgot. So just pretend I said something funny and laugh uproariously.

3. You know what else is fun to say? Water closet. I work for an organization whose abbreviation is WC and every time I type it (as in, "are you interested in learning more about WC?") I feel like I'm asking them if they'd like to know more about the toilet. And then I giggle for fifteen minutes. Cuz I'm mature like that.

6. I just ate 87 Reese's and they were delicious. Tomorrow I'll cry and throw the scale and wonder why I'm not losing weight.

13. This post is awesome.

15. You know how when it's late at night and you really want someone to play with but your husband's asleep so you turn on a computer and start blogging instead and maybe you've had a glass or twelve of wine and you think you're witty and hilarious but really you just sound idiotic?

27. Me too.

27a. But then you're like, "no big deal, it's not like I have to post this." But you're not fooling anyone cuz you know you totally will because blogging is hard work and material is hard to come by and when genius strikes you go with it.

67b. And by "genius" I mean crap.

100. This is embarrassing.

127. One time the husband woke up from a dead sleep and started analyzing the pass/play strategy of Family Feud. It was riveting and quite insightful and I started to take notes but then he began yelling at the contestants on t.v. for playing when they should have passed and vice versa and I got scared and hid under the table.

135. I try never to watch the news. But one night, it happened by accident, a.k.a. the remote was too far away for me to reach. They reported that a new study reveals drinking during pregnancy isn't bad, including binge drinking. Really, scientists. I'm pretty sure binge drinking is bad for everyone. You guys better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

188. It was actually Amy Robach who was doing the reporting and she was wearing the most adorable wedges. I tweeted ABC News declaring my love for her shoes and asking where she got them. They never responded. Way to go, the news. Honestly, I thought you were supposed to be helping people. I'm pretty sure telling pregnant women to drink and denying women access to adorable footwear is like the least helpful thing ever. Get it together!

Alright, that's enough shenanigans. Time to pass this on to some bloggers (slightly) more stable than I am:

Mom Next Door
Catie's Chaos
Fox in the City
Chicken Noodle Gravy
Classic NYC Story
Mayor Gia
Snappy Surprise

Comment gems:

Leanne Hawn: My own mother ate a brownie in front of me the other day and I wanted to claw her eyes out. You are not alone.

Classic NYer: Has it ever occurred to you why the first three letters of diet are d-i-e? It's because if you go on a diet, somebody is going to DIE! (And from your tales, I'm thinking it's going to be the unsuspecting Frito-Cheeto-Dorito queen.)

23 comments:

  1. My long-standing policy is to ignore these "awards".

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm..I think I will create a special award just for you then. You must accept and play along OR ELSE! :)

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  2. Thank you for (sort of) following the rules. I haven't read some of the blogs you're passing this award on to (what is wrong with me?!). More blog trolling! :)

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    1. I think you are suffering from a case of the awesomeness. It happens to the best of us. Your awesomeness gets in the way of your ability to read ALL THE BLOGS!

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  3. Thanks lady! I like your numbering... :P

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I had to concentrate real hard to make sure I did it right. Numbers are hard.

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  4. Replies
    1. That's cuz I hang around shizzy people like you. :)

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  5. Gawd, I hate when the remote is too far away, like totally!

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    Replies
    1. Honestly! Am I, like, supposed to GET UP and get it? What-ever!

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  6. You are one funny lady! lol
    Congrats on the award.:)

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  7. I like to do mentally-challenged numbering too, only I like throwing letters in as well.

    These awards are so strange. I love reading random facts about other people but dislike coming up with them for myself...I mean, the whole frigging blog is already all about me.

    I would love to live in Canada. It's cleaner there.

    I always want to talk to my husband after he's already asleep. He is not amused. So if I really need company, then I will inititate sex, because he has no problem being woken up for that. My brilliant conversation tries not to take this personally.

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    Replies
    1. The random facts thing totally stresses me out! It's hard enough to come up with ONE blog thing to talk about, but now I have to mention 7?!!! *hides under table*

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  8. I love you! And not just because you passed the award on to me! (I promise not to become needy and dependent in my relationship with you.) (Ok, I can't promise that but you can't stop me from loving you.)

    Your math skillz are da bomb! And thanks for the bonuses in 27 and 67. Genius!

    Oh, and for the record. I giggled way longer than I should have when you said WC.

    Oh, and thank you for giving me something to post about today. I was going to write about how I want to take up drinking to avoid figuring out what to do about child care but telling every one random facts about me is way more fun (for me).

    Thanks Lady! I really do think you are awesome sausage!

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    Replies
    1. I really think you should give the drinking thing a shot too. Nothing ever goes wrong drinking and blogging mix...

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  9. You're as math savvy as me! hee hee. Congrats on the award.

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  10. So glad you didn't pass an award to me. It's like chain letters, if you had I would have blown it off and had 7 years bad luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh, but check a few posts back. I do believe you have an award...

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  11. Ah thank you for the award! I too totally suck at following the rules but I shall try my damnedest to at least get around to acknowledging the love I have for you.

    Also, you are so right to want to be Canadian. Not only do we rock when it comes to spelling thing like humour, colour and neighbour but we have also been known to be rather hilarious . . . particularly after a couple of Canadian beers! ;)
    Jenn

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.