Thursday, May 31, 2012

You Googled What - The Poor Grammar and Other Horrors Edition

It's time for another edition of You Googled What?! Here's the latest and (not so) greatest searches that have landed people on my blog.

I hate when I'm studying and a velociraptor throws a bar
Ok, now you guys are just making shit up. When has a velociraptor ever thrown a bar? And while you're studying? Come on.

Peed pants:
The words "peed pants" were actually followed by my URL. On purpose. There was no accident here. Well, except for the peeing your pants part. You guys do know that it's an accident, right? It's not like I intentionally go around wetting myself.

Also? It's great to know I've become the authority on pants peeing.

Sarcastic cat pics
Those cats and their sarcasm...

Vomiting trophy
Stop it. Just, stop it. You're being gross now.      

I'm sorry for being a brat
This was much funnier the way I read it the first time: I'm sorry for being a bat.

Gangster Interior Design
I've heard those gangsters are known for their mad interior design skillz, but where is the proof?! Those gangsters are all talk. 

What to write on love dice:
I'm not a love expert or anything but I'm pretty sure these are guaranteed to spice up your sexy time:
- Make me a sandwich
- Massage my feet
- Refill my wine
- You know what? Just leave me the bottle.
- No talking during dance moms
- Does this look infected?

The most embarrassing moment buying condoms
I'd actually love to hear this. Do share.

Boobies when your naked.
Honestly. Guess what, dude? YOU'RE not going to see my boobs cuz YOUR grammar sucks. I have standards, you know. 

Excuses. Let's hear yours again
Yes, let's. And it better not involve a velociraptor. No one's buying that shit.

Mom blog anal bleaching
Oh please, no.

Normal looking vagina
I am so sick of society and its unrealistic standards of beauty! Just what exactly is normal, anyway? Hmmm? Short, fat, tall, skinny. They're all beautiful! Wait...I think that's people. All PEOPLE are beautiful. Vaginas? Well, vaginas I honestly don't have an opinion about this. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.

Satchel afraid of vacuum Get Fuzzy
Excuse me?  


  1. OMG, I love these posts so much and I so needed it! But, Mark got mad at me for laughing so hard and not telling him why. I mean, I eventually told him, but I was laughing!

  2. Hahahaha the last one refers to a comic strip, in case you're not familiar. I love get fuzzy! Satchel is the adorable dog. Not sure why that'd get to your blog though...

  3. Bahaha! This made my day!!!

  4. I read a lot of "mom blogs", and rarely come across the subject of anal bleaching. Makes sense that search would lead to you, since you don't have kids. Or discuss anal bleaching (though I'd definitely read it if you did).

  5. What's ridiculous is that I know exactly what is meant by "Satchel afraid of vacuum Get Fuzzy" but I don't know why that would have led to your blog.

  6. Wow..the anal bleaching is so weird

  7. You just know the person searching for normal vagina is not in the possession of one, because if you aren't sure, odds are yes that probably IS an STD.

  8. HAHA!!! Naked boobies remind me of our past discussions. And what's up with the raptors? I think I have a lot to catch up on.

  9. Cannot make appropriate comment at this time cause I can't stop laughing.

  10. Mom blog anal bleaching? Ah no, I will be passing on that puppy.

  11. OMG these are my favorite blog posts of all time. Some of the things people search for and land on our blogs with is HILARIOUS! :D

  12. I get some mighty funny search strings for my blog but, honestly, these take the cake. They're just flat-out hilarious! :D

  13. I'm really curious about that whole velociraptor thing. Because I never saw that in college. Must have been at the wrong party "studying".

  14. Oh, I loved the good old days when we talked about anal bleaching, anal highlighting, etc, in those few posts. Good times.

  15. Oh, I loved the good old days when we talked about anal bleaching, anal highlighting, etc, in those few posts. Good times.

  16. Oh, I loved the good old days when we talked about anal bleaching, anal highlighting, etc, in those few posts. Good times.

  17. Now that I'm basking in your awesomeness, please come and Guest Post for me.

  18. I'm 100% certain my husband's satchel is afraid of vacuum get fuzzy.

  19. "Mom blog anal bleaching" best search term ever. AhAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hilarious!!!

  20. I am out of control laughing at " sorry for being a bat"!!!!!! Seriously dying. Love and miss you!!!

  21. mine are so boring.. kinda worried. but these? these are the strangest I think I have ever heard anyone say.


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