Monday, April 30, 2012

You Googled What? - The "Um..." Edition

Oh Googlers, you never cease to amaze me.  Or traumatize me.  Seriously, what is up with the things people Google?  Some of them are even too disturbing for my taste.

Here are some of the tame(r) Google searches that landed people on my blog.

Maybe you should eat your makeup
Hmmm...that's an interesting idea.  Here's another one: maybe you shouldn't.

What is with all the bacon on twitter?
It's what the cool people tweet about. Duh.

Really lame writing
Gee, thanks. Tell me how you really feel.

Crapped myself embarrassing
If you googled this to find out whether crapping yourself is embarrassing, let me assure you.  It is.

Shark in assless chaps
Um, what?

It's about a writer and a hooker
Yep. That about sums up my blog.

My cat had a lot of poop
Um, congratulations? 

Do you have to cut your vagina?
What?! No! No, no, no! You never, ever, never, never, never have to do that!  

Do I look like I give a F?
Well, I can't really see you right now, but I'm going to go with...no?

Just show me some bouncing eggs
Um, why? 

Lovegra to love your partner until last
Either I'm having a seizure or that makes absolutely no sense.

Image baby monkey growing out of forehead
Honestly, people! What is wrong with you?! 

Coffee thong
Is this coffee that you can wear or a thong you can drink? I'm confused and have a headache now.

Head up your ass trophy
Baha. This is actually a good one. I know a few people I could give this to.

I'm supposed to die tonight  
And you had nothing better to do than hang out on the google? 
 
Cute puppies in love
Aw. My faith in humanity is restored.

    

51 comments:

  1. I wouldn't mind having a head up your ass trophy, I can think of a lot of people to hand that baby out to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. We should totally make one if one does not already exist.

      Delete
    2. Excellent - I'll take a case please.

      Delete
  2. Thanks for sharing these. I like the shark one in particular.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, although I'm having a hard time visualizing that.

      Delete
  3. "Shark in assless chaps"

    Does this imply that there's an interest in shark images dressed as cowboys, as bikers, or just preferred shark attire when attending a gay shark pride parade swim?

    Laughed for a good long bit after reading your post. Thanks for that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not exactly sure what it implies other than there are some very...um...interesting peeps out there. You should do some research and get back to us.

      Delete
  4. This made my day. The fact that these led people to your blog is hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol! Wow. This made my Monday! Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Shaking head.

    ~The G is Silent

    ReplyDelete
  7. It is amazing the things that people will search for. One time I was Googling "is it okay to shower during a thunderstorm" and I got search results for "is it okay to put a centipede in my vagina".

    I just about died laughing... then I was seriously appalled xD.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have read this comment, like, six times and every time I crack up. WTF! I really hope the google said NO to that question. Poor centipede. And also. Why?? WHY?!!!!

      Delete
  8. Oh that was so wonderful! Clearly you write amazing posts if they are finding you based on those searches! Well done! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, clearly. But I'm not really sure what that says about me.

      Delete
  9. ROFL. mine are so boring. clearly I do not use the words ass, thong, or poop enough. I need to step up my game.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL! I think 'It's about a writer and a hooker' would make for a good story... :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed. I don't know much about hooking though. Someone should do some research.

      Delete
  11. I nearly had soda coming out of my nose over that shark one. As hilarious as it is, it's also slightly disturbing. lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. LMAO! These were great. What an awesome ending to the challenge. Thank you for the laughter. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Head up your ass trophy....I so need to hand that out to a few people!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Careful, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to snort coffee thongs. Or maybe you are. I have no idea.

      Delete
    2. I have all sorts of comments on this, none of them are rated under NC-17

      Delete
  15. I wrote a post about these girls wearing hoochie mama shorts with their vaginas practically hanging out of the bottom. Yeah... you don't know WHAT people Googled to find my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Awww, give me some cute puppies woman!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know I would post crazy inane things like this which explains why I have resisted the urge to get twitter. I might twat myself and put my eye out or something.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's a new party game. Try to figure out why Google thought the answer to these searches was your blog! I've gotten a few that I never did figure out. Nothing as cool as the shark in assless chaps though. Ha! Autocorrect wanted that to be azaleas chaps which is a whole new image to consider.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally want to google azaleas chaps now.

      Delete
  19. I started laughing with the first line and didn't stop until the end. I am always fascinated and sometimes disturbed by the searches that get people to my blog...apparently male boners in wetsuits and wetsuit wedgies are very popular. I might have to research the coffee thong now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please do! And tell me what you find. Unless it's really gross. You can keep that treasure to yourself.

      Delete
    2. Ok I'm back! Oh how could I not think of all the bikini baristas around here?? There is also a dude named Thong who makes coffee, and sandals (i.e. *thongs*) that are brown (i.e. *coffee*)...and a men's coffee thong that I'm assuming is a brown banana hammock that is selling on ebay, but I refuse to click on the link so just let your imagination run wild.

      Delete
  20. mine are all about vaginas and kittens... I'm not sure how I feel about that.

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL! Head up your ass trophy. That should totally exist.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Can you please make me a Head Up your Ass trophy? It'll become the new Throat Punch... :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I laughed so damn hard at these! Why do you get such cool searches? Must mean your blog is exciting.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This is spectacular. Except for the vagina cutting. What the frick.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yeah, those are some pretty weird search queries. But I guess that's what happens when you go all erratic on the A to Z Challenge and get behind. I think there's a weird search query in my last sentence.


    Join us on May 7th with your Challenge Reflections post.

    Lee
    A Faraway View
    An A to Z Co-host blog

    ReplyDelete
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