Monday, April 2, 2012

Brown Chicken, Brown Cow

It's day two, aka "B" day of the A to Z challenge. You may have noticed I'm a little behind in posting. But my lateness is not my fault. I blame...someone else.

Before we get started, I would just like to say...

FREE COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!

I demanded asked that you all comment yesterday, and you did not disappoint.

I was pleased to see that many of you were just as befuddled by the whole anal bleaching thing as I was. It's always nice to know I'm not alone in my bewilderment. However, I've been thinking. We fear things we do not understand. And fear often leads to intolerance. So before we rise up and form the Society Against Anal Bleachers, someone should do some research and find out if it's really that bad. Maybe thousands upon thousands of us are missing out on the greatest thing in the history of ever.

Whadda ya think? Any takers? Who wants to be the anal bleaching guinea pig?
Anyone? I'll let you guys think about it while on move on to today's post.

I'm not gonna lie. I had a hard time coming up with something to write about for "B." Thankfully, you all seemed to sense this and provided some ideas which I took under serious advisement.

Kirby Carespodi suggested boogers for today. It seems like an okay idea but may I remind everyone that this is a serious blog where we talk about serious issues. Like diarrhea, and peeing your pants in public, and anal bleaching.

Huh. Boogers sound exactly like something that should be on this blog. But just saying the word "booger" makes me vomit in mouth, so...moving on.

Funny in My Mind said her husband suggested she write about Boobs. I think this is a fantastic suggestion. Who doesn't love boobs? I know I do. Admit it, you do too.

KimP of The G is Silent suggested bunions. This made me think of Funyuns which then made me think of Paul Bunyan. And then I was all, "Ox!" "Fox!" "Fox in the hen-house!" "CHICKEN!"

And then it became crystal clear. Today's post is about Brown Chicken, Brown Cow.
Brown Chicken

Brown Cow

 Don't worry, Penelope. You're not the only one.

Wow, I expected things would derail at some point during this challenge. I just didn't think it'd be so soon.

Quote of the Day:
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on. 
~Beryl Pfizer

Word of the Day:
bloviate: to speak or write in a pompous manner


46 comments:

  1. You bloviate the hell out of this -er something.. I love that you have a word and quote of the day! I am completely surprised that this isn't all about bacon but not that you snuck it in there on us..

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    1. I really thought I gave bacon enough attention on this blog, but apparently they want everything to be about them. It's not always about bacon, ya know. Oh wait...yes it is. And sometimes sausage.

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    2. This particular Slave to the Pig thinks they can well... give you a break this time!

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  2. Hahah love the drawings - and the new header! WOOHOO!

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  3. I was excited for a post about bacon, but you made it worth it.

    I have your letter usage for tomorrow, if you're up for it.

    C is for cannibalism, C-section, calculator, and copulate.

    Can you work them all into one sentence?

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  4. Holy hell, this is what love at first sight feels like??!!! I love it here and I'm never leaving.

    And no, just cause I'm the new kid doesn't mean I'm going to partake in the anal bleaching. That sounds awkward.

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    Replies
    1. Yay, stay here and we play forever. We have lots of wine and bacon and unicorns. And glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.

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  5. Hahaha!! You made my Monday so much better!

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  6. Yes, brown chicken brown cow. Love it! How do you make music marks on the computer? Cuz that's what I want to add up there in my comment. Music marks.

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    Replies
    1. Ooh, I have no idea. But I'll just imagine them.

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  7. I like your quote of the day very much. I definitely spend time writing down things I'd like to remember...because my brain is already full. But at least it's an outline of the book I want to eventually write...and other important stuff. And it's not just grocery lists or something.

    I really can't believe this post wasn't about bacon. I can see why the bacon would be outraged! They must have just assumed, you know?

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    1. They totally assumed...and set themselves up for disappointment.

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  8. This is perfection! Keep it up SG!

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  9. I'm with Penelope. My husband had to explain the meaning of this Trace Adkins song. Wait, or is it Tracy Lawrence? Either way, I'm appalled at them both. After he explained it, I was still disgusted. And I worried the kids bumping in the hay loft got ticks. For C, I want your take on Camel Toes or Crack Whores or Crack Whores named Candy from Chicago with Camel Toes. Whatever you prefer.

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    Replies
    1. And I forgot to mention my love for this post and the animated creatures up top. :)

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    2. I'm not exactly sure of the song you are referring to. Is there a brown chicken, brown cow song? Or are you talking about the one "I want to check you for ticks?" I bet Candy the Crack Whore from Chicago has plenty to say about Camel Toes.

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    3. Hells yes there is a brown chicken brown cow song. Please listen to it. It's the twangy country guy with the hat...that narrows it down. But, find it and listen. I want your thoughts. Brad paisley and his ticks ain't got nothing on brown chicken brown cow.

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  10. I believe, and this is just a thought, that individuals bleaching their balloon knots are also partaking in the brown chicken, brown cow.....

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    Replies
    1. Balloon knots! I just lost my shit and did a Danny Thomas spit take on my dashboard while waiting in my child's school parking lot. Side note- can you get your a-hole highlighted? I mean, I want it to match my head, right?

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    2. Highlighted?! Wouldn't that require hair? :D

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    3. Okay, maybe tattooed would be a better word. Tattooed in a highlight sort of way. Honey brown with sort of baby blonde, um, stripes? This is getting too complicated.

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    4. Bahaha! I do believe you are right.

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    5. OMG, do you think they offer that? This is why we need a guinea pig!

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    6. If you check out my banner, I think you'll find what you're looking for...

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  11. Bacon....bacon and beer.

    I AM ON A MISSION NOW

    thank you

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  12. that poor, poor bacon. haha.

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  13. C should really be about Clorox. Just keep the theme going!

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  14. love the new look!
    poor bacon.....probably never saw the slight coming...

    I think for "C" you should should share some of your favourite Comments. or the strangest. or Comments you wished you had said.

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    Replies
    1. Excellent idea! You guys leave the best comments! And clearly the bacon had no idea.

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  15. Excellent choice. Excellent

    ~The G is Silent

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  16. Awesome! But personally, I think you shoulda gone with boogers.

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  17. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I thought B would be a no brainer for you with the whole bacon romance thing. Good to see you can surprise us :-)

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  18. I'm glad you didn't write about boogers or bunions... I hate bunions, I actually have some pretty painful ones and they are no fooling. Like your chicken and cow, very artistic!!! :)

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  19. Hmm *steals the bacon* Hey, I had to interview my husband again, I need the energy points!

    (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)

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  20. Brown Chicken Brown Cow (wap-wap, wa-wap-wap). I would think you could do C is for copulate, to continue on this theme; totally ties in to the anal bleaching. But then, that might just be too on the nose. You need to keep us guessing! This is fun :)

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  21. My husband reads my comments so he saw his horn being tooted by you and emailed me a link to todays post. Funny boy.
    I got nothin for C yet. I'm afraid to ask him because c@ck starts with c. I do have a rooster thing going in my kichen though.....

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.