Tuesday, February 28, 2012

You Googled What? - Anal Probe Edition

It's time for another installment of Things People Googled That Led Them to My Blog.

Warning: You might need wine after this.  Or brain bleach.  Probably Both.

Anal Probe
I would ask why this was googled, but I probably don't want to know.

Loser
Yeah well, you're rubber and whatever you say bounces...I'm glue and you...no, wait...You're glue...oh what-ever! YOU'RE the loser.

I'm Gonna Be Somebody Someday
I hope it's not a loser who gets an anal probe.

All Things Crappy
I think that's what happens after you get an anal probe.

Before I die I want to sarcasm
Listen, we all WANT to sarcasm, but that doesn't mean we all GET to sarcasm.  Sarcasm takes work.  And commitment.  And, apparently, an anal probe.  

I love sex hidden messages
Hiding messages during sex!  Don't you have more important things to be doing?  And just WHERE are you planning on hiding these messages?  Hmmm? 

Hmm-

Oh crap, this is totally going to involve an anal probe, isn't it?

I love a velociraptor.
Oh me too.  I love to go to the movies with one.  And to yoga.  And to go line dancing with.  The possibilities for fun are endless when a velociraptor is involved.

Typed penis as my password said it was too long.
That's what she said!

That'swhatshesaid, that'swhatshesaid, that'swhatshesaid!

Oh, and by the way, I have no idea which site it was that you were on, but I can assure you, the password police were just being nice. It's really not that long. 

Why do thongs go up?
The answer probably has something to do with physics and inertia and the tilt of the earth on its axis but I'm just going to go with anal probe.  It seems to be the answer for everything.  

I'm a virgin
Um, okay.  So, did you have a question?  Are you looking for an award?  Just what exactly were you hoping to get out of googling this?

I'm a hooker
Hey, that's great!  You should meet up with the person who googled 'I'm a virgin.'  I think she has some questions for you. 

 

 
   
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51 comments:

  1. Opting for the brain bleach. :-)

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  2. wine... it's always wine time:)

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  3. Hahahha I love finding out what freaky things were searched to find my blog...

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  4. Brain bleach and wine - oh wait, they're the same thing on my budget.

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  5. I thought the joke was "I typed 'my penis' as a password and was told it was too short"??

    Or maybe that's just me...

    It's just me...


    ...shit.

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    Replies

    1. Aw that's ok. Size doesn't ma..*cough*...tter. Sorry, I had something in my throat.

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  6. things I learned from this post:

    1 - I am out of bleach.
    2 - I don't have enough wine.
    3 - my blog posts are apparently complete uninteresting. clearly I need to insert the words "anal probe", "virgin" and "thong goes up" more often.

    I am confident I can work it into a poem and even make it rhyme.

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    Replies

    1. We must get you more wine! And I would totally read that poem. And I really don't think I've ever said the words "thong goes up" on here...

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  7. OMG! OMG! OMG!

    I just laughed MY ASS OFF! That is the funniest thing I've read all month! Seriously, SG, thank you for sharing!

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  8. I seriously needed a good laugh today. Thank you!

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  10. A lot of sexually confused ppl are finding your blog.
    Not me though.
    No.
    What?

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  11. all my google searches are normal. No weirdos ever find me. And here's why. . . I'm normal.

    These people find you not because THEY are weirdos. . . though they clearly are. . . but because you have obviously typed something in your blog that a search engine picked up on and said. . . "yeah, this is a good fit".

    People type, "Kindergarten comic book social story" and end up on my blog. . . because I wrote a blog post about my daughter going to kindergarten, and how I had to put together a social story for her to take some of the apprehension away.

    People type "anal probe" and find you. . . do the math.

    Weirdo.

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    Replies

    1. Hahahahaha, Jim. You crack me up. You? Normal? Good one. Thanks for the laugh.

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    2. *gasp*

      I *AM* normal! What are you implying?

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    3. Hmm, I can't say with absolute certainty, but I'm pretty sure I was implying that you're NOT normal. But that's ok. I like weird.

      Delete

  12. That's what she said.

    Ever since I had surgery on my asshole in December, I get THE BEST Google search terms. Ahhh...the perks of colorectal surgery....

    Came from FTF. It's been far too long since I've been here. My apologies. But I'm back, baby.

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    Replies

    1. reading "Surgery on my asshole" makes my buttcheeks clench together. So glad you're back. I've been away form your blog for was too long too!

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  13. Love the list. You're creating quite the fan base! I only get searches for male milking machines and mom butts.

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    1. Woah woah woah. Male milking machines? Do I even want to know?

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  14. These are very strange search terms. I love that cartoon!

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    1. Me too! Those poor rabbits. What will they do?

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  15. i have no clue what the search terms are to get to mah blog. maybe it's better this way?

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  16. that is one funny - and all too scary - list.

    google search makes my 'puter go all funny so i have to use bing. it's as sad and lame as it sounds.

    ~ another visitor from FTF!

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  17. I'm a virgin

    Suggestion: Stay away from the anal probe.

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  18. Hysterical!! All Things Crappy - what you get after an anal probe! LOL! Must come round here more often if these are the types of google hits you get!!

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    Replies

    1. Haha! I'm not sure if I should be honored or scared by the searches I get.

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  19. Hahaha, big laugh. Especially about the thong. About time anyone asked about that, lol!

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    Replies

    1. Hah! Who searches for that? Me! Just kidding. Kind of. No, seriously, I'm kidding.

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  20. You know, everything always comes back to that anal probe. Just sayin'

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  21. I'm dying here. Too funny! The things people type into a Google search box is pretty darn astounding!

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  22. Dude. Totally cracking up! Awesome.

    Also, I had no clue "sarcasm" was a verb. Thank you for edu-ma-cating me. ;)

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  23. This is exactly why I have you bookmarked so I don't ever end up on your list next to anal probe. I must not be doing something right because my search terms are way too innocuous. Obviously, I need to step it up!

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  24. "I love a velociraptor"?! Me too! What is the chance that it is cheating on me with one of you there?

    Virgin award sounds legit, but maybe it was an old pervert who wanted to meet some showcased virgin?

    At any rate, these search terms are insane xD

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  25. Sometimes I get really scared when I look at what peopel googled. Like there's a suspiciously high number of hits for kill the mommy. Really? never have those words been together in my posts. I never use the word mommy!!!

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  26. Oh my gosh - hysterical! Pinning this to the Finding the Funny Pinterest board - thanks for linking up!

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.

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