Thursday, February 16, 2012

Where's Mine!

I should have anticipated you guys would react that way.  But I didn't.  And now I'm freaking out.  Sorta.  I'm trying to be normal about it.  But who am I kidding?  I'm insane.

Remember the post where I said I wrote a book and I might need some of you guys to read it to give me honest feedback?  Well, your response was amazing and supportive and encouraging and I really really should have expected you guys to react that way cuz you are the most awesome sausage bunch of twats there is but...

It totally freaked me out!  I thought you guys would be all Meh. Whatever.  But you weren't and then I was all OMG I wrote a book.  And people are actually going to read it.  And they're going to hate it!  And then I will diiieeeeee.

And then I was all, "how will I choose who should be a beta reader? will people be sad if I don't pick them? will they hate me?  will we stop being bloggy bffs?  what have I done!!!!"

And then I was all, "i really should have reminded people how extremely paranoid I am. if I send someone my book I'll expect them to sign a confidentiality agreement. IN BLOOD.  and I will hold all their bacon hostage.  because even though the book totally sucks, it totally rocks, and everyone will want to claim it as their own."

Okay, not really.  Basically what I'm trying to say is thank you so much for your support and enthusiasm.  I was overwhelmed by it and I loved it more than bacon.  I probably just should have said that instead of all that other crazy stuff.

Now for something fun!  I was given an award by Laura from Spotts in the Valley of the Sun.  Isn't that a fantastic blog name?  According to the fabulous Ms. L I am a Kreativ Blogger!

Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, I don't get this award without a little work (which I will get to in a minute).  But the BEST part about an award is that I get to pass it on to others.  So stay tuned, you just might be the next Kreativ Blogger.

So, here are the rules:
1. Thank & link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Answer the form questions below.
3. Share ten random facts / thoughts about yourself.
4. Nominate (at least) 7 other blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.

Here we go:
Favorite song:
    This is impossible to answer.  However, right now Country Girl by Luke Bryan makes me lose my damn mind.  No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, if that song comes on I lose my shit.  I dance and shake and gallop about.  It is not pretty.
Favorite dessert:
    Why does there have to be a favorite?  Can't I just love them all?
What ticks me off:
    How much time do you have?
When I’m upset, I:
    EAT ALL THE BACON!  And stab things.
Favorite pet(s):
    The husband.  What?  Who said that?  The answer is Evil Cody and Sweet Riley, of course
Black or white:
Biggest fear:
    Oh heeeeell no.  I'm  not telling you that.
Everyday attitude:
    Oh you know, being awesome.
What is perfection?
    Well according to Pink, I am F*cking Perfect and she seems like a really wise gal, so I'm going to trust her.
My guilty pleasure:
    That feeling when you've had to pee for a really really really long time.  Like a REALLY long time.  And you finally get to.  It's not exactly a guilty pleasure, but it does feel so good to finally pee that I feel kinda guilty about it.

Okay, now 10 random facts about me:
1. Sharing random facts about myself really stresses me out.

2. Can't I just tell you about the time I peed my pants in public?

3. What?  I've already talked about that?  A lot?

4. Crap.

5. Oh! I know.  When I was little, I used to bite kids.  On the face.

6. When I was three I was the only girl in my babysitting group.  One day, me and all the little boys were changing into our bathing suits to splash in the kiddy pool.  I looked down at them, then at myself, noticed they all had a certain appendage that I did not and cried, "Where's mine?!"

7. My fifth birthday was at McDonalds.  My friends and I were playing on the playground when, "CAKE TIME!" was announced.  We all headed to the door, I was pushed to the ground and trampled by all my friends.  I can still feel their little rubber soles pressing into my head.

8. I hate eating in the car if I'm stopped at a red light.  It makes me feel self-conscious.  Especially if I'm eating a banana.

9. Do not talk to me for at least three hours after I wake up.  I hate everything in the morning.

10. I should probably conclude this list by saying that whole, "I'm upset I don't have a penis" thing was just a phase.  I'm totally cool with it now. 

Now I get to pass on the Kreativ Blogger love to:
Sweaty Writes
The Bearded Iris
Time Out For Mom
Chosen Chaos
Chicken Noodle Gravy
Just Jennifer


  1. I'm with you. My ego is so fragile. Congrats on the positive feedback! And this post made me LOL, which rarely happens!

  2. Look how awesome I am!! Oh...wait. I meant look how awesome YOU are! I just said the other thing out of habit. Sorry.

    I'm really glad you got over the whole wanting a penis thing. And (hopefully) the biting people on the face thing. But mostly I'm really glad you gave me this award! Thank you! :)

    1. The husband is also glad I got over the wanting a penis thing. I may or may not be over the biting people in the face thing.

  3. Acceptance speech in the making. Does this also mean you trust me to read your book? Yes, totally putting you on the spot crazy lady.

  4. Yeah, like Jamie said...what about the book?? Did you think I wouldn't notice you totally dodging that subject with this award thingy?

    Thank you! You just gave me fodder for TGIF tomorrow!

  5. damn....I thought I was finally getting some free bacon.

    well, an award is pretty cool too.
    at least, way better than a penis. they're just so annoying really. all jumping up at attention "over here - look at me; Love me!"
    I am sure there is another punchline there referencing biting the face, but I think I've taken this as far as it should go, and just say Congrats on the book and the award, and thank you so very kindly for passing it on.

    1. They are such attention whores. It's like, seriously dude. Relax. We see you.

  6. Yeah, no one is allowed to talk to me before noon either. Which is kinda hard to do with a kid who likes to wake up before 7am...

    1. Before 7 a.m.? Yikes! I'll be thinking of you while I'm sleeping.

  7. Our house had a Blood, Flood or Fire rule.

    If it is not one of those things, leave me alone until I come out of my room.

    1. Excellent rule! I am officially adopting it.

  8. I almost snorted my coffee out of my nose with this one... well played...

    "8. I hate eating in the car if I'm stopped at a red light. It makes me feel self-conscious. Especially if I'm eating a banana."

    1. It's stressful, right? Hope your nose isn't burning.

  9. Nice dodge of the whole "read my book" thing! I was momentarily distracted by the shiny object (your award)(obviously) but I have *just enough* mental acuity in the morning to stay focused and remember important things, like how you so artfully side stepped the subject of me wanting to read your book.

    I want to read your book. Why you ask? So I can judge you of course. Oh wait, I mean, uuuh, because I LOVE reading and it's MY JOB to proofread stuff at work and I LIKE IT! So I think we both win. I'll get to read a book for free (my favorite type of reading) AND I get to proofread. Did I say you win too? Ok, maybe just me.

    1. Excellent points! I noticed that she did that too. Even though she knows I want to read it. She's making me very suspicious...

    2. Well I am definitely giving you my book - I love to be judged!

      Jacqui - you probably should be suspicious of me. I am suspicious of me.

  10. HA! Penis envy is common. A lot like bacon envy. Everybody wants some. Wait? Did I just compare a penis to bacon? Aw, hell no. Bacon's way better.

    Congrats on the award and thanks for passing it along to me. As a huge, FAN of yours, I couldn't be happier.

    Oh, and what's this about a book?

  11. I had a birthday party at macdonalds too. Then fell of the merry go round and sprained my wrist.
    Not so merry.

    1. Oh no! Merry go rounds scared me for that exact reason. McDonalds is a dangerous place.

  12. I can totally understand how you freaked out after so many said they would read your book. As awesome as that is, it's a vulnerable spot to land in. Still, you have terrific fans who will wait in the wings if you need anything. That's pretty cool. What is better still? You finished a frickin' book!

    1. So vulnerable! I'm trying to be excited but instead I'm all, "ahh! what did I do? i should hide this under the mattress and never let anyone read it."

  13. Hey, it's afternoon there, right? Go read my post!

  14. It seems like maybe you over thought the whole "people want to read my shit" shit. ;) Can't wait to hear more about it!

    1. Yes, over-thinking things is my middle name. It's an odd name, but it's true.

  15. I can still feel their little rubber soles pressing into my head.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean - how sad and tragic.

    1. I'm glad you can laugh about my misery. Someone should be laughing.

  16. Well then...I guess it's your lucky day 'cause I've got another award for you. Very Inspiring Blogger Award...and I say that without a trace of sarcasm. :-) Check it:

  17. I'm LATEEEEEE. Yeah, I sucked. But blame it on the flu, the mini depression relapse thingy, the date who stood me up, and so on, and so on, okay? lol

    Thank YOU for the award. I love awards! If you ever receive one and not know who to pass it to, I'm always happy to get one. Remember that. Big hint, there ;)

    I'm sorry I'm laughing at your sad childhood memories--being trampled by all those heavy-duty rubber soles must've been traumatic. But it's dang funny. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shut up, Sweaty. Oh no, I can't!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Love ya, girl. xo

    1. Oh, Sweaty. Hugs, girl. And tell me who this date is. I will punch them in the face.

      Please keep laughing. Someone should laugh...


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