First, I love you guys. Seriously. Many of you suggested I make BOTH kinds of cookies and I was all, "duh, me, of course you should make BOTH; your bloggy friends are so smart."
The chocolate ones came out as the winner and I would totally make them, but I don't have all the ingredients. I would go to the store and get the missing goods but I can't. Cuz I'm lazy. And also? I already went to the store. Wal-Mart to be exact. And I've spent the last 4.5 hours bashing my head into the wall.
Seriously, WTF is up with that store? I'm convinced that in order to shop there you are required to have your brain surgically removed from your head. Yes, I shopped there which means I must also be missing my brain, and I don't disagree with that, because seriously What. Was. I. Thinking?
In a fit of temporary insanity I decided to go to the land of Walmartians because I needed to get grocery things and non-grocery things and I thought I would save time by going to one place (Wal-Mart) instead of making two stops. Save time by going to Wal-Mart? Ha! Haha! Hahahahaha!
How I did not stab someone, I do not know.
Walmartian #1: Hey, I'm going to cut you off with my cart and then give you a dirty look for getting in my way.
Walmartian #2: Hey, I'm going to stop in the middle of the aisle and dig my underwear out of my butt for ten minutes and as soon as you try to go around me I'm going to body-check you into a shelf of canned goods.
Walmartian #3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8: Hey, we're going to celebrate our family reunion in the middle of the frozen food section.
Every time, EVERY TIME, I go, the cart I get has a jacked up wheel and I end up fighting with it the entire time like a mental person, which actually makes me fit right in with the other nutbags. And as soon as I touch it I feel like I've instantly contracted 427 STDs.
Oh and here's a newsflash, lady with the unfortunate fashion sense and 1980s hair cut. The express lane? You know, the one that says 20 Items or Less? Means you only get to go through this lane if you have a TOTAL of 20 items or Lessssss. It does not mean you get to do FIVE different transactions of 20 items. It also does not mean you get to hold up every single item to your husband or boyfriend or sugar daddy and say, "I got this for Bobby. Do you think Mary Sue will like this? These wings are for Lisa." And please don't say, after ever transaction, "I've been a naughty girl." It makes me feel like I need to hose myself off with bleach.
I was on the brink of losing my shit by the time it was my turn to check out with my four items, but shockingly the salesgirl was NOT a total moron. She also told me I had really pretty eyelashes and then I was all, "all shucks, thanks, Wal-Mart really isn't so bad."
And I kinda didn't want to stab anyone any more.
But then, on my way out, the exit was blocked by the I-Don't-Know-What-20-Items-Or-Less-Means Lady who had teamed up with the Geriatric Wheelchair Gang and was all,"Heyyyy, you guys want to see what I bought my Ex-Mother-in-Law?" I managed to maneuver around her and get out of there before I saw what the gift was, but I can say without a doubt the best gift this woman has ever and will ever give her Ex-Mother-in-Law was becoming her Ex-Daughter-in-Law.
The next time I decide to "run into Wal-Mart real quick," please stab me in the kneecap or entice me in another direction with a batch of cookies. Thanks.