Twitter is a strange, but fabulous place. Sometimes you form a rock band - #VaginaShenanigans ! - sometimes you have very stimulating conversations about Disney princesses - love you Belle - and sometimes you challenge a fellow twat to a guest post using a combination of the most exciting words in the English language - which is exactly what happened with the lovely, the talented, the awesome Just Jennifer.
I recently challenged her to write a guest post for me including the words vagina, bacon and legwarmers. I received regular updates from her via the twatter while she was writing it, and at one point she said she removed part of the vagina and I was all, what??!!! you removed part of your vagina! that's a little drastic, don't you think? I mean, I appreciate your commitment to guest posting, but that's really not necessary.
Turns out, she only removed words about vagina, not her actual vagina.
So without further ado, let's welcome Just Jennifer. Please show her some love. I've put her through a lot.
(Since she wrote this in a conversational way, I've added commentary in blue).
Hello Sarcasm Goddess fans! I’m a fan too. Love that lady! My blog is called Just Jennifer, but SG likes to call me Just Plain Awesome and I kind of love it.
Although I’m not sure why she thinks I’m Just Plain Awesome. (Cuz you are, duh.) Yes, she and I have lots of things in common. We’re both only children, she’s Italian and I’m ¼ Italian, our husbands have the same name and we’ve never had the chicken pox (no lollipops, please). But I’m just a 37 year old married mom. Sure, I can be funny sometimes, but nothing like The Sarcasm Goddess. And while I like to think I’m a decent writer, SG is a REAL writer.
Anyway! I’ll take it. I do love praise.
Awhile ago on Twitter SG challenged me to write her a guest post using 3 words: vagina, bacon and legwarmers.
There, I just used them. That’s it for me. Thank you very much for reading.
* * * * *
Uh oh. I think I hear SG having a panic attack.
Yeah, I just threw my computer, I was so pissed.
It’s OK, it’s OK, I’ll write more!
Oops. Is this why people say I'm dramatic? Whatever. You owe me a computer.
So when I first discovered For the Love of Writing there was a lot of vagina talk. At first I was all, seriously? Vaginas? Really not a fan of the word.
I mean, check this out:
“The word ‘vagina’ is a Latin word meaning ‘a sheath or scabbard‘, a scabbard into which one might slide and sheath a sword. The ‘sword’ in the case of the anatomic vagina was the penis. Love and war, it would seem, have been connected in the minds of people for millennia.”
Yeah, nice. I am officially traumatized. No one is sticking a sword in my vagina!
But hey, it’s cool. I mean I have a vagina (or a puddy or vajayjay like we tend to say around here). And I’ve used it…for…you know…things. Oh! Like having babies. I’ve popped 2 babies out of mine and lived to tell the tale!
The next post I saw here was all about bacon. Well, what’s not to love about bacon? Except for that pesky little artery-clogging detail. My children like bacon so much they have dubbed themselves “baconaholics”. Crazy Aunt SG would be so proud!
My heart is swelling with pride. Or maybe my arteries are just clogged. Seriously, though, love your little baconaholics!
Bacon really does make everything better.
Don’t argue! It does. I can’t say anything bad about bacon. Except, again, that it’s really not good for you. I’d venture to add that I actually like turkey bacon, but I’m afraid SG would come through the screen and slap me.
My last assigned topic is legwarmers. Why have I seen SG tweeting about legwarmers lately?
Uh, cuz they're awesome sausage.
I think it was @SarcasmGoddess @chicktuition and @therobotmommy I saw tweeting about legwarmers one lovely evening. And I think the conversation turned to bacon and vaginas…..which is probably how I got this guest post assignment.
It’s becoming so clear now.
I grew up in the ‘80s so I know about legwarmers. They, um, warm the legs. Yeah, and they are mostly worn by dancers and those doing aerobics. Neither of which was me.
I’m picturing Olivia Newton John in the “Let’s Get Physical” video.
Loved that video! So stylish!
Ah videos. Another ‘80s phenomenon. Legwarmers and music videos go together!
You know what doesn’t go together? Legwarmers and the year 2011.
I’m no fashionista (shared that!), but why, why, WHY must these things come back around? I can handle the leggings and chunky bracelets. But I’ve never understood the reason for legwarmers and therefore can’t see why they’re making a comeback. Please feel free to enlighten me.
You know what? I'm not sure why they're making a comeback either, Just Jennifer. But, I think you should find out for us. For your next challenge, you must wear legwarmers for one week, go to five different places and write about your experience.
Alrighty then! I feel I have successfully completed my task.
Mrs. Goddess? Do I get an A+?
You, my dear, get an A+ 100 smiley face gold star. I am so happy to have your Just Plain Awesomeness on my blog. We all eagerly await your report from your next assignment.