Sunday, November 13, 2011

Just Plain Awesome

Twitter is a strange, but fabulous place.  Sometimes you form a rock band - #VaginaShenanigans ! - sometimes you have very stimulating conversations about Disney princesses - love you Belle - and sometimes you challenge a fellow twat to a guest post using a combination of the most exciting words in the English language - which is exactly what happened with the lovely, the talented, the awesome Just Jennifer.

I recently challenged her to write a guest post for me including the words vagina, bacon and legwarmers.  I received regular updates from her via the twatter while she was writing it, and at one point she said she removed part of the vagina and I was all, what??!!! you removed part of your vagina!  that's a little drastic, don't you think?  I mean, I appreciate your commitment to guest posting, but that's really not necessary.

Turns out, she only removed words about vagina, not her actual vagina.

So without further ado, let's welcome Just Jennifer.  Please show her some love.  I've put her through a lot.
(Since she wrote this in a conversational way, I've added commentary in blue).

Hello Sarcasm Goddess fans!  I’m a fan too.  Love that lady!  My blog is called Just Jennifer, but SG likes to call me Just Plain Awesome and I kind of love it.

Although I’m not sure why she thinks I’m Just Plain Awesome.  (Cuz you are, duh.)  Yes, she and I have lots of things in common.  We’re both only children, she’s Italian and I’m ¼ Italian, our husbands have the same name and we’ve never had the chicken pox (no lollipops, please).  But I’m just a 37 year old married mom.  Sure, I can be funny sometimes, but nothing like The Sarcasm Goddess.  And while I like to think I’m a decent writer, SG is a REAL writer.

Anyway!  I’ll take it.  I do love praise.

Awhile ago on Twitter SG challenged me to write her a guest post using 3 words: vagina, bacon and legwarmers.

There, I just used them.  That’s it for me.  Thank you very much for reading.

* * * * *

Uh oh.  I think I hear SG having a panic attack.

Yeah, I just threw my computer, I was so pissed.

It’s OK, it’s OK, I’ll write more!

Oops.  Is this why people say I'm dramatic?  Whatever. You owe me a computer.

So when I first discovered For the Love of Writing there was a lot of vagina talk.  At first I was all, seriously?  Vaginas?  Really not a fan of the word.

I mean, check this out:
“The word ‘vagina’ is a Latin word meaning ‘a sheath or scabbard‘, a scabbard into which one might slide and sheath a sword. The ‘sword’ in the case of the anatomic vagina was the penis. Love and war, it would seem, have been connected in the minds of people for millennia.”


Yeah, nice.  I am officially traumatized.  No one is sticking a sword in my vagina!

But hey, it’s cool.  I mean I have a vagina (or a puddy or vajayjay like we tend to say around here).  And I’ve used it…for…you know…things.  Oh!  Like having babies.  I’ve popped 2 babies out of mine and lived to tell the tale!

The next post I saw here was all about bacon.  Well, what’s not to love about bacon?  Except for that pesky little artery-clogging detail.  My children like bacon so much they have dubbed themselves “baconaholics”.  Crazy Aunt SG would be so proud!

My heart is swelling with pride.  Or maybe my arteries are just clogged.  Seriously, though, love your little baconaholics!

Bacon really does make everything better.

Don’t argue!  It does.  I can’t say anything bad about bacon.  Except, again, that it’s really not good for you.  I’d venture to add that I actually like turkey bacon, but I’m afraid SG would come through the screen and slap me.

My last assigned topic is legwarmers.  Why have I seen SG tweeting about legwarmers lately?

Uh, cuz they're awesome sausage.

I think it was @SarcasmGoddess @chicktuition and @therobotmommy I saw tweeting about legwarmers one lovely evening.  And I think the conversation turned to bacon and vaginas…..which is probably how I got this guest post assignment.

It’s becoming so clear now.

I grew up in the ‘80s so I know about legwarmers.  They, um, warm the legs.  Yeah, and they are mostly worn by dancers and those doing aerobics.  Neither of which was me.

I’m picturing Olivia Newton John in the “Let’s Get Physical” video.

Loved that video!  So stylish!

Ah videos.  Another ‘80s phenomenon.  Legwarmers and music videos go together!

You know what doesn’t go together?  Legwarmers and the year 2011.

I’m no fashionista (shared that!), but why, why, WHY must these things come back around?  I can handle the leggings and chunky bracelets.  But I’ve never understood the reason for legwarmers and therefore can’t see why they’re making a comeback.  Please feel free to enlighten me.

You know what?  I'm not sure why they're making a comeback either, Just Jennifer.  But, I think you should find out for us.  For your next challenge, you must wear legwarmers for one week, go to five different places and write about your experience.

Alrighty then!  I feel I have successfully completed my task.

Mrs. Goddess?  Do I get an A+?

You, my dear, get an A+ 100 smiley face gold star.  I am so happy to have your Just Plain Awesomeness on my blog.  We all eagerly await your report from your next assignment.

Now everyone go check out Just Jennifer's blog and continue to tell her how awesome she is!  And don't forget to participate in her weekly linky Terrific, Grateful, Important Friday.


  1. You rock, SG! Thank you soooooo much!

    Oh, are you sending me a pair of legwarmers to wear or do you expect me to knit some up?

  2. Oh the convos that rock #wineparty. That's how #VaginaShenanigans was born! Imagine the shenanigans you can get into w/ a sword! Great post today!

  3. Oooh! You must knit the legwarmers. And we want pictures!

  4. Hey, SG, thanks for the smiles! Off to Jennifer's blog. Thanks!

  5. How did I KNOW you would say I have to knit them?

    Yay visitors!

  6. Hahaha Love it! Can't wait to see the legwarmers! ;) Maybe Turkey bacon isnt so bad in SG's mind, she didn't say anything.

  7. Yeah I noticed she didn't say anything about turkey bacon too!

  8. I am astounded that you were able to use the words "bacon" and "vagina" in one post and get away with it. (-:

  9. I saw a cute tutorial on pinterest where you make leg warmers out of old sweaters. And I thought, Oh! those are cute! But then I remembered (like you pointed out) that I am neither a ballerina, nor a dancer. So I gave up on that idea. Then today, I saw my sister WEARING LEGWARMERS. But, she's in college AND she does to ballroom dance. So. I guess she can get away with it.

  10. I use mine to do things to. Sometimes I keep a sword there. Can't be too safe.

  11. Thanks for the comments, guys. Keep 'em coming!

    SG - I have a legwarmer knitting pattern and I accept your challenge!

  12. See Jennifer? This is why I call you Just Plain Awesome. We need pictures of every place you wear them. Full body shots so we know YOU are the one wearing them.

  13. Now I'm scared of swords! I wasn't scared of swords before today. I think I can use the words vagina, bacon, and leg warmers all in one comment.

  14. Hilarious!

    Though I actually like legwarmers. I can wear them with my sweats and be super stylish.

    Or at least warm.

  15. Jacqui, I bow down to your comment.

    Shell, so you're saying legwarmers make sweats more fashionable?

  16. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh guys.

    You two really should meet some day. I would love to just watch you have a conversation... Like dinner and a show!

  17. wow.. I just did some MUCH NEEDED blog reading catchup.... I'm in LOVE with this! Heading over to Jennifer's page to see if there are any updates! :D

  18. Now that was fun. I want to read Jennifer's essay on 'What I did in my legwarmers' now.

  19. Awesome Sausage!.. I love that! I'm so stealing that from you!

    Jen - Bravo! I've noticed that the "in" thing now is to wear legwarmers over stilettos. Dare I say... I think it's kinda cute??? Prob wouldn't be very cute with my sweatpants I wear every day though.


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