Thursday, July 14, 2011

Furiously Happy

Those of you who read The Bloggess, which I'm sure is all of you, and if not, hello?  Where have you been?  The Bloggess is the bees knees of the blogging world.  Well, actually she's more like the giant metal chicken and the massive stuffed boar's head of the blogging world, and while both of those things are as awesome as all the other awesome things in the world combined, today, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to talk about being furiously happy.

Just so we're clear, Furiously Happy is a Jenny aka The Bloggess' phrase, not mine.  Not that I wouldn't want to claim it as my own, I just believe in giving props where props are due.

Occasionally, or maybe all the time, I blog about my anxiety.  Usually in a joking funny way.  Because as my friend Jen once said to me, "if I don't laugh, I'll cry," and I can honestly say that's the best damn advice anyone's ever given me.  Not that she was giving me advice when she said it, but oh you know what I mean.

While the anxiety sucks big fat ones, you know what sucks even bigger, fatter ones?  Depression.  I don't think I've ever blogged about it.  Because honestly, it's really hard to find the funny in depression.  When I'm depressed, I don't write.  In fact, I don't do much other than hate myself times a thousand.

I feel like I spend half of my life depressed and the other half anxious.  That doesn't leave much room for happy, cuz I'm not a math genius or anything but I'm pretty sure one half plus one half equals one whole, despite what a former boss of mine who does not understand percentages at all may think.

Anyhoudini, The Bloggess also suffers from anxiety and depression and a whole bunch of other really bad shit.  And you know what?  So do a bunch of other bloggers.  Perhaps it's why we blog.  In fact, awhile ago I did a post about why I write and ended by asking all of you why you write.  The husband, who stalks my blog real hard core like (thanks honey) said to me, "apparently everyone writes to keep from going bat-shit crazy."  Exactly.  Your comments made me love you all even more than I already do.  And I didn't even know that was possible.

I've recently gone through a very bad bout of depression.  Like REAL bad.  Like me laying in bed and the husband holding me and telling me to stay with him.  Those of you with depression or living with someone who suffers from depression know exactly what he meant by that.

The point is, I recently watched The Bloggess' speech at a Mormon convention and, after igniting the zombie apocalypse she talked about being furiously happy, and how, even though sometimes we are knee-deep in shit, we still deserve to be happy, which may or may not involving tazing other people.

While watching it, I was all, "Right on like donkey kong!" and started thinking about the things that make me Furiously Happy and decided to make a list of Things That Make Me Furiously Happy, because lists?  Complete me.

Things That Make Me Furiously Happy

1. The husband.  You know that feeling when you've just put clean sheets on your bed, and they're warm from the dryer and you just got out of the shower and you jump in bed and roll around and it feels so good?  That's how the husband makes me feel.  And that feeling makes me furiously happy.

2.  My puppies, who are actually not puppies but full blown dogs, but all dogs are puppies to me.  Every day, EVERY DAY, when I get home they are waiting at the door and greet me with the happiest faces a person has ever seen.  It's hard not to be furiously happy when another being is that happy to see you.

3. Christmas.  Actually October - December are the greatest months of my life.  Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, the trifecta of holiday awesomeness.  The decorations, the parties, the food, the family time, the smells, that feeling in the air.  It's heaven.

4. Having arms. Seriously.  I recently saw this show about these albinos in Tanzania (I think - I would look it up, but doing research does not make me furiously happy).  Apparently Tanzanians think albinos have magic powers and they cut off their arms to somehow possess their magic.  Watching this of course made me feel like a giant whiny shithead, because honestly, is my life really that bad?  That woman has no f*cking arms, and she is happy and forgiving and not drowning in woe.  Although I can't choose not to be depressed, I can choose to be furiously happy about having arms.  And so I am.

5. My Moma.  I don't mean to say that my other parents don't make me furiously happy.  My stepdad is the reason I know how to play poker, won an eleven person Texas Hold'Em tournament in college, can clean up at a blackjack table, know how to throw a football, and have an insane passion for the game of football, all of which make me furiously happy.  And my dad taught me how to laugh at myself.  Which is honestly one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.  But my Moma?  She's the other pea in my pod.  The yin to my yang.  My partner in crime.  The person I sock skate across the kitchen floor with.  My best friend.  And I know I'm lucky to have a mom like that, cuz a lot of people don't.

You know what's great about making a furiously happy list?  Once you start listing, you start thinking of more and more things that make you furiously happy.  And thinking of those things makes you more furiously happy.  And that?  Is a very good thing.

So my darlings, what makes you furiously happy?

DON'T FORGET!
I'm hosting a linky link on Monday, July 18th!  WOOTY WOOT WOOT!  Topic: Your most embarrassing moment. 

14 comments:

  1. Depression is the absolute worst. :( I'm so sorry you've been struggling with it--you would never know from your writing!

    It really is great therapy to write and focus on what makes you happy.

    I can in a teensy way relate to those albinos. Number one, I'm really white, and number two, I just had two hand surgeries and my arms have been WORTHLESS for the last six months. It totally sucks. Especially when you have a twenty-five pound baby that wants to be held all the time. I remember one day being home alone with him and he woke up early from his nap and was crying. I felt so helpless to not be able to pick him up, so we just stood there looking at each other and crying. It was AWFUL!

    Anyways, baby kisses make me happy. Clean bathtubs, crockpot meals, a really, really good book, breakfast on Saturday, pigtails, new Toms, CHOCOLATE, kind doctors, Disney...I could go on and on. It's fun to think about this. Thanks for sharing and allowing me to practically take over your blog with this comment. :)

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  2. I Love your list! Seriously, the exact same stuff on mine.

    I also heart the Blogness too.

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  3. You know, every damn time I mention my puppies, people think I literally mean "infant dogs". Wow...I had to take a moment to appreciate the use of a weird phrase, lol. Anyway, back to the point, my goggies will always be puppies to me too. Hell yeah, sister!

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  4. My hubby and I talked about the anxiety and depression I've been dealing with. Then I stumbled upon your blog. And now through your words I instantly feel like a freaking light bulb set fire to my hair. I DO feel better when I blog. And tweet. And connect with other bloggers.

    Thanks for plugging me in. Great list. Great post.

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  5. I'm so sorry you've been struggling. Depression is awful...but your list is fantastic!

    So let's see, what makes me Furiously Happy? Um, making lists, sleeping while the sun is shining, stretching, dancing, books, travel -- apparently, lots of things!

    And I'm seriously thinking about joining your linky, but my most embarrassing moment? Yikes! That might be *embarrassing*!

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  6. I like Furiously Happy, that's a good concept. Seeing my son every morning makes me furiously happy. Having my first cup of coffee. Cupcakes. Nice comments on my blog. Those make me furiously happy.

    I'm sorry about that depression thing. Truly. It sucks. I hope that by tweeting nonsense with you on Twitter, you know that someone out there considers you a friend. It's not much I know, but you've got it.

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  7. Ah hun, I am sorry that depression has been hounding you lately . . . it is a horrible bitch it is.

    I LOVE the Bloggess and I loved her whole message in her speech to the Mormans. Sometimes we need to make the choice to be happy and find things that do, in fact, make us furiously happy!

    Great post girlie!
    Jenn

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  8. I love you =)

    Is it ok if your husband is on my list too? Shopping is on my list. Talking to you about shopping is also on my list. Talking to you about my boyfriend is on my list. Not my boyfriend, per se, but talking to YOU (and your husband) about him. Talking to you (and J) about my adventures after drinking is on my list. Your teeth are on my list. They are perfect and amazing. And, your laugh is on my list. I usually worry that you don't really think I am funny, so you just laugh to make me feel better about myself, but there is this quality to it, that in the back of my mind, I know your not faking it.

    I love you =)

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  9. my husband, my children, my writing, and my friends make me furiously happy. Great post!!

    Stopping in from TRDC.

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  10. I to have depression and anxiety. It's horrible to go through. I also write about it on my blog.

    Things that make me furiously happy: my husband, my kids, my mom, fresh cut green grass, the smell of a horse, my dogs, and being here to take it all in.

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  11. I adore the bloggess, she's so funny and honest and real. And I love the concept of furiously happy. Your list is inspiring.

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  12. Sounds like you have an awesome man and Moma. It's good to have allies. I'm a lot like you with this depression thing. It totally bogs me down sometimes but I've got a good husband and friends who pull me out when I need. Plus Twitter helps too.

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  13. Truly, I think that anxiety and depression go hand in hand, because they seem to spend a lot of time together.

    It is very good to have allies, people who will stick with you even when it's yucky in your head. :)

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  14. I SO agree with your husband. I think I'd go bat-shit crazy if it were not for my blog and the ability to channel some frustrations out through my writing.

    You're lucky to have a husband and family who make you furiously happy.

    My daughter, my mom, they make me furiously happy. My husband (maybe soon ex-husband), he makes me... well, furiously furious.

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