Thursday, June 2, 2011

Employee of the Year! Who Me? Couldn't Be.

 I'm so excited to link up with Alison and Ado for their one year blogiversary!  Happy Anniversary, ladies! I chose this post from my archives because it is the first time I ever included drawings in a blog post. I'm sure you will all agree I have a future as an artist if my dream of being an author doesn't work out. Also, it's possible that parts of this conversation only took place in my head.  I often have a hard time distinguishing the world inside my head from real life.

Today my boss beeped me on my phone (our office is very large; his desk is located about twenty feet from mine and is separated by like, two sets of walls; we would waste a lot of time if we actually got up from our desks to talk to each other).

Boss: Are you busy?

Me: Uh, yeah. I’m reading a blog. And when I’m finished I have, like, eight more to read.

Boss: Well I need you to do to do this Very Long and Complicated Report for me.

Me: That’s sounds an awful lot like work.

Boss: That’s because you’re at work.

Me: Oh. Well wouldn’t you rather I draw you a cute picture of a giraffe eating a banana?



Boss: No.

Me: How about an angry monkey scolding the giraffe for stealing his stash of bananas?

Boss: No. I really need you to do this report.

Me: Hold on a sec. Let me play a song for you.

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything

Boss: Are you going to do this report or not?

Me (perking up): I have a choice?

Boss: Yeah, do this report or get fired.

Me: Those are terrible choices.

Boss: Yeah, well life is full of terrible choices

Me: Couldn't one of the choices involve looking at pictures of cute puppies on the Internet?



Boss: So I guess you're going with the 'get fired' option?

Me: Fine. I’ll do it.



The cute puppy is from hdwallpapersfull.com

35 comments:

  1. haha! You're hilarious! I love that "I'm reading a blog, I have eight more to go!" And don't worry, I promise not to steal your stuff! Although it's mighty hard to resist: everybody wants a cute picture of a giraffe eating a banana...resist temptation to steal...resist temptation to steal...

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  2. Reading this post was a great way to start off the day! It motivated me to go the extra mile at work. Keep them coming!

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  3. SNORT! I loved the drawings, which really appealed to my artistic side, and the wonderful banter with the boss.
    LOVED IT.

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  4. HA HA This totally made me happy! I just found your blog through the red dress club link up.. Im think Im going to have to follow you now. After reading this post, its just a must! :)

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  5. Have you ever read the Agnes cartoons? This sounds so much like the conversations Agnes has with her grandma. Hilarious! And your illustrations were just brilliant :) thanks for stopping by my place. I'm your newest follower!

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  6. oh my god! i love it. I may try something like this with my boss. I think she's sick of my pouty faces. I may be able to pull off pics such as these.

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  7. At least he gives you a choice, right?
    Came from TRDC.

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  8. Very entertaining. Found you on the Lady Blogger Tea Party today. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. You just never know what you'll find when you link up to lady bloggers tea party on Saturdays! I feel like I won the lottery! A funny blogger that draws pictures..woohoo...LOVE the blog, hope all of your posts are this funny (and with personally drawn pictures...)I'll be back!

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  10. Haha! I love you already. I do some drawings too sometimes -except mine are really bad.

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  11. Asides from loving that you're busy reading blogs at work, love your art work.

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  12. I'm still in denial that I have to go to work every day. Looks like you had a pretty successful work day!

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  13. That was hilarious! Was that a real conversation you had with your boss or a made up conversation in your head that you wished you had with your boss? However, I believe that you really drew those pictures.

    Visiting from LBS! Have a great weekend!

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  14. you are so funny and those pictures ARE awesome.
    Stopping by from the TRDC and new follower :)

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  15. Love the drawings! Stopping by from the tea party! Following you now!

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  16. So happy I joined the Tea Party w/ LBS and found your link, your AWESOME! I know you now that already, but awesome people like to hear how awesome they are. That was sooo funny! I'm tweeting it!

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  17. Hopping on to ur blog from the tea party. LOVE your style and the cute white puppy. UR too funny. Come by and give me some twisted sarcasm love LOL!

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  18. Wait- reading blogs doesn't count as work? Damn. You need to come up with a new term for it. Maybe social media investigation?

    Visiting from the Tea Party- although it pains me to write that as I do not want to be associated w/ the tea party in any way.

    Thanks for the laughs!

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  19. You? Are stinking hilarious. Where have you been all my bloggy life?

    Also, can you make me a tee shirt with the angry monkey and the banana-eating giraffe? i would so wear it. Since you're currently unemployed, I'm sure you have time for this.

    And, i would love you more if you'd get rid of your word verification. Ack!

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  20. Your boss is Awesome. And this was hilareous !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  21. Your boss sounds like such a dick. ;-) I can't imagine all that pressure.

    I've been meaning to ask you... do you tweet? Just curious. (Reply here are at jenhasapen@gmail.com, if you don't mind.) :-)

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  22. You may have just honed in to why I haven't had a boss in the last six or seven years.

    Oh, and I'm totally gonna steal your giraffe, haha!

    Stopping in from the LBS tea party.

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  23. Made me laugh out loud. Greatly needed in the midst of doing homework at almost 51 years old ( which I am sure is forbidden and my professor just forgot to tell me.) Thank you!

    Stacey from TRDC

    http://musingsinsimplicitysm.blogspot.com/

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  24. Thank you so much for your gracious words! I enjoyed them just as much as your sarcasm (note to you: enjoyed with gusto.) Glad you came to visit.

    Stacey

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  25. Found you on the weekend link-up and I love it! I love sarcasm--it just makes me happy. I'm now a follower.

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  26. surflanegal@comcast.netJune 7, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    Great drawings and great story. What will you do with all this LOVE? Mrs. K.

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  27. Lol I love it!
    Stopping by from the LBS

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  28. Hahahaha!! I remember reading this the first time and totally loving your drawings. Thank you for celebrating with us!

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  29. I love this one. Glad you picked it to link up with us today and thanks so much for being part of our blogoversary my friend! (-: PS: Your boss sounds sort of cool in a mean way.

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  30. Awesome... you just made me laugh loud enough that my napping toddler rolled over in his sleep. Love it!

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  31. Oh man. This post is exactly why I can't read your blog in bed when my husband is sleeping. He gets annoyed if I wake him up snorting from laughing so hard.

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  32. Haha! I remember this one! Great pick... definitely one of my favorites as well.

    In other news, I've just discovered that you're not in my rss reader BUT YOU SHOULD BE!!! I should do something about that, huh?

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    I'm shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I'm not even
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  34. Have you ever considered creating an ebook or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog based on the same subjects you discuss and
    would really like to have you share some stories/information.
    I know my readers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.
    Also see my site: http://www.yourtobaccosstore.com

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.