Friday, June 3, 2011

Can't Let Go

I just joined a new awesome group, Romantic Friday Writers, where we are to write a short story based on a prompt. 

This week the prompt is To Remember anything about the hero/heroine.  It is to be written in the first point of view, limit 400 words.

Can't Let Go
by Kelley Williams

I reached into the drawer and retrieved a fistful of clothes - shirts, pants, underwear, socks. I carelessly tossed them in the large brown box marked “clothes” and reached back in the drawer for more. 

My cell phone rang out from deep within the mess of my room.  I hurried toward the sound, dropping my clothes in the box on the way.

Tossing aside shoes, towels and an eight -year accumulation of junk, I finally found my phone.

“Hello?” I answered breathlessly.

“How’s the packing going?” Valerie chirped.

“It sucks.”

“Well hurry up and get it done.  Your going away party is at nine sharp.  El Toros. Don’t be late.”

“I’ll be there.”

We said our goodbyes and I tossed my phone on the bed.

I walked back to my dresser, leaning over to pick up a red sweater that hadn’t made it into the box.  As soon as my fingers felt the scratchy wool, my heart froze.  I sank to the floor and brought the sweater to my face, inhaling deeply.  His smell was gone, of course.  It had been seven years.

Seven years, but that day in the park  as clear as yesterday.  Josh, perpetually tan with sun-kissed hair even in the dead of winter, sleeves bunched to his elbows, stretched out across from me on the blue and white striped blanket.  We sipped Chardonnay and ate cheese and grapes and celebrated four years together.  It was like something out of a movie.

Except for the ants.  They were on us in minutes.

“They’re everywhere!” I cried, slapping them off my arm.

“Shit!” Josh smacked his leg. 

I flicked one off my thigh and the next thing I knew I was in his arms and we were rolling down the hill.

“What are you doing?” My scream startled the ducks at the edge of the pond.

“Rolling the ants away.”

His method wasn’t very effective, but I didn’t care if I was eaten alive by ants, as long as it happened in Josh’s arms.  As we rolled, I memorized the feel of his body against mind.  My breasts pressed into his hard chest.  His solid legs against my soft thighs.  His coarse stubble tickling my cheek.  We fit together perfectly.

We finally came to a stop with him on top.  He brushed the hair from my eyes and kissed me, a heat that started in my lips and spread throughout my entire body.

Three weeks later he left for San Diego.  For a new job, a new life and eventually a new girlfriend.

Sighing, I started to throw the sweater in the box marked “Goodwill,” but my fingers couldn't let go.  Not yet.  With tears stinging my eyes, I slipped the sweater over my head and continued packing.


12 comments:

  1. Hi,

    Nice touch, having kept the sweater. Funny too, how sniffing something (clothes) can bring memories flooding back! ;)

    best
    F

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  3. I loved how you expressed so many emotions without saying them. I could so relate to this. Great job with the prompt. Have you checked out the Indie Ink writing challenges? You might like participating in those each week. The sign up for this week is closed though but you could go ahead and sign up for next week and start participating.

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  4. Hello.
    Welcome to Romantic Friday Writers!

    A quick romance indeed. You managed to capture the emotions very well, including visual of the ants...ants and I are not good friends either:)

    Like Francine said, sniffing something can indeed bring back good/bad memories.

    Nicely done!

    Thnak you for visiting my blog.
    Smiling...I see you in the VIP Lounge. Do you see me? (smile)

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  5. This is lovely. Using the sweater as the jolt into memories worked really well. I liked the voice of your character and also got the sense of pace from her packing to her reminiscing.

    Good to meet you!

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  6. Thank you for the follow... I'll be enjoying your blog as well. Stacie

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  7. Hello there Sarcasm Goddess! Welcome to Romantic Friday Writers!

    You have captured the theme beautifully. We write using the senses and you've incorporated the sense of smell, one of our most powerful senses, so well. I can just picture her with the sweater to her face, inhaling...

    Denise<3

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  8. Oh man, that was vivid. Your flash's are so concise and well written. So much story in them.

    I'm really enjoying your writings.

    I've only read the first chapter of John and Darcy so far, but I liked it. Good flow and pacing. The voice was excellent. I will try to stop by and read more.

    .......dhole

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  9. Your natural voice is point on. not one word or second wasted here--Point A, Point B, Point C, nice flow. Good humor, loved the ants! I totally see your character in these daily actions and in her emotions. Very well crafted and down to earth.

    I just joined myself, but welcome, SG!

    ~Ms. Queenly

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  10. Greetings.
    I loved that you also shared how scratchy the sweater was along with the smell. I think we expect smell in this kind of scene, but adding the natural scratchiness that is wool did it for me. Nice work.
    Nancy

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  11. Yeah, you've made it really clear that she's not over that guy. The simplest of experiences shared with a loved one tend to linger on in our minds.

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  12. I loved the ants, and the slipping the sweater over her head was perfect! Great mood.

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I had to change my comment settings because I was getting too much spam. You can no longer comment anonymously. (I don't think anyone besides the spammers were doing this.) But I don't want to block the rest of you from commenting! If you're having trouble, tweet me at @sarcasmgoddess or email sarcasmgoddess at ymail dot com and I'll see what I can do to fix it.