Thursday, February 17, 2011

There's A Whole Lotta Bloggin Going On. And also? A Road Trip.

It is with much excitement that I share this news: three people, who I happen to think are pretty fabulous, have started blogs!  Yipee!  Blogging completes me.

The first fabulous person is my momma.  Her blog is GetHealthyEasy.  She offers easy manageable ways to get healthy.  Note: this is NOT a diet blog.  As you will read when you check out her blog, DIET is a four letter word.  The dirtiest of four letter words if you ask me.  Her posts are pretty short and each one offers one thing you can do to change your life and be healthier.  It is amazing.  She is amazing.  You should check it out.  And leave a comment.  We bloggers love to know we're not talking to ourselves all the time.

The second fabulous person is my friend G.E.O.R.G.E.  He is taking a three week road trip out west and is blogging about it.  So far it sounds quite eventful: helpful billboards, road kill, 30 varieties of jerky and Bucc-ees Beavers (it's not what you think).  Check it out: Go West Young Man.

The third fabulous person will have to remain a mystery for now.  She is not ready to let the world know she has started a fabulous blog.  But she should, because it is fabulous and she is fabulous.  She was inspired to start a blog by another blogger who neither of us know, but both of us love.  AND she said she was partially inspired by me.  I will totally take that partial credit.

If you haven't done so already, check out my fabulous friend Juli's blog Waiting for Baby Peanut.  It's about her precious baybee who is freaking adorable.  Highlight of her latest post?  Her dog and her baybee try to eat bark in the back yard.  HA-larious.

And you must check out Smitten Design by Ashley.  Her fabulousity knows no limits and you will quite simply be...smitten.

You may have noticed my skin turn a distinct shade of green whilst talking about George's blog. It is the green of envy my friends.  I am tres jealous of his road trip.  Not only is George traveling, but he's blogging and traveling.  I die.

I told the husband I want to go on an East Coast road trip because oh my gosh how much fun would that be and OH MY GOSH I COULD BLOG ABOUT IT. HOW MUCH FUN WOULD THAT BE.  Unfortunately there's this thing called life which prevents us from do so right now.  So, instead of being all mopey and sad and my life sucks, I've decided to pretend that I'm on a road trip right now, in my town, going about my daily activities, and of course blog about it.  Greatest.  Idea. Ever.  You guys are gonna love this.

Here we go.

Road Trip to Nowhere, Day One:

Everyone knows the most important component of any road trip is tunes.  I've been listening to the same CD for the last four months, and now any time I hear one of the songs on it, I want to stab myself in the head with a pencil.  But that would hurt.  So instead, I'd probably stab someone else in the head with a pencil.  And likely go to jail.  Not a good way to start a road trip. That's the number one rule of road trips: don't go to jail.

So I dug around in my glove compartment for an old CD. (Yes, I realize to the rest of the civilized word CD's are antiquated and you all listen to music via your ipod or iphone or have songs downloaded directly to your brain, or whatever, but I still listen to CD's.  And I like it.  So back off.)  I pulled out three badly scratched CD's; my player promptly rejected each one.  Finally I found a mildly scratched CD labeled Hey Ya.

Folks we have a winner.

My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know fo sho.
But does she really wanna but can't stand to see me walk out the door
Don't try to fight the feelin
Don't try to fight the feelin
Fight the feelin

Okay, the scratches are coming into play.  On to the next song.

3,6,9 damn you're fine
move it so you can sock it to me one more time
Get low.
Get low, get low, get low, get low, get low.

Yesssss.  Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz.  I windowed to the wall all the way to work.  (Which according to Urban Dictionary, the window is where you enter the pu... You know what?  I'm going to let you guys look that one up yourselves.)

After a stimulating morning of work, I ventured to this charming little B&B where the husband and I are staying called Casa de Mi Casa for lunch.  They have this new style of lunching called Make It Yourself.  I enjoyed a delightful meal of processed hormone infused foods, making a mess during the preparation process.  But that's the beauty of being on vacation: making a mess for someone else to clean up.  Or so I thought until the husband told me there are no maids at this B&B.  We have to clean up the mess ourselves.  Really?  Really?  What kind of place is this?  I cannot wait to fill out the comment card when we leave here.

After lunch, I drove north to the neighboring town for a visit with the Gyno.  Cause nothing says road trip like a pap smear.

The 25 mile trip was pretty uneventful.  I attempted to play the license plate game, but all plates were of my home state so that got lame pretty quickly.  Really, the only highlights were Psychic Stephanie's $30 SPECIAL TODAY! and the old dude with the waist-length gray ponytail and cowboy hat trying to jump start his Hover Round.

The medical plaza that contains my Gyno's office is kinda like entering a third world country.  Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic.  It's like a second world country, complete with bars on windows, bums passed out on sidewalks, men with machine guns, children with dirty faces peering around corners, hookers soliciting sex and signs everywhere saying CAUTION! SLIPPERY WHEN WET. USE RAMP.  Except?  There are no freakin ramps.

After my lady parts were sufficiently prodded, I returned back to work, getting held up by some Q-tips (old people) going ten miles below the 30 mph speed limit on the mile they call Miracle.

The husband stopped at a local market called Publix on his way home to the B&B and we made a delightful dinner which we enjoyed on the couch in front of the TV.  We plan to retire early so we can get an early start on Day Two of the Road Trip to Nowhere.

Stay tuned.  And try to keep your envy in check.  Jealousy doesn't look good on you.


  1. It is amazing that you can write with so much detail on a relatively slow day (I mean except for the prodding aspect). I have decided that next time I travel, you and Mark are coming with. I'm sure it wont be weird the three of us traveling around. Just think of it as a reverse "Big Love". And we are totally going to hit up Vegas.

  2. The three of us on a road trip? Hells to the yes.


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