Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My Dearest Tabitha

I failed.  I was going to post my super fabulous story so you'd have something super fabulous to read at 4 a.m. when you are feeding your precious baybee, but suddenly I feel like death and for the first time in the history of ever, my mind completely stopped.  And I couldn't write another thing.  Which is probably a good thing since I'm pretty sure I started talking about a spaceship fueled by a toaster.  And although it was brilliant, I'm talking nobel prize worthy, it was also kinda weird.  Or maybe just awesome.

Most likely awesome.

So I do not have a story, but I can't leave you with nothing (is that a double negative?) so I offer you, and all my followers, anonymous or otherwise, some tips on a happy marriage.

Marriage Tip Number Five:

You must be willing to compromise.

Example:

Mark: This house is always a mess!  I want to live in a clean house.

Me: Get a maid.

Mark: How about I just clean up my stuff and you clean up yours?

Me: This entire mess is my stuff.

Mark:  How about you just clean up half of your stuff?

Me: I'll think about it.

Tip number Six

It is important to recognize and appreciate your spouse’s natural talents.

Example:

Mark: What do you want for dinner?

Me. Hungry Howie’s Pizza.  There’s one in (name of scary town that is due south of the town we live in.)

Mark: I want to go bowling.

Me:  We don’t have a bowling alley here.  There’s probably one in (name of scary town.)  We could get a Hungry Howie’s Pizza, grab our nine and go bowling.

Mark: Our what?

Me: Our nine.

Mark: What’s that?

Me: A gun.

Mark with a look that says I are crazy: I don’t think so.

Me: Uh, yes.  You know, like, I’m going to take my nine and bust a cap.

Mark with thought bubble above his head: No…

Me: Seriously?  I’m way more gangster than you.

Mark with face of recollection: Oh yeah. (starts singing like 20 songs with the word “nine” in them.)  You are more gangster than me.

Me: My brain works so much faster than yours.

Mark: It does.  It’s like I’m on dial-up and you're on Comcast high speed.

Me: You’re so poetic.

1 comment:

  1. You r super fabulous, thanks for leaving me something to read. the bub decided to get up at 230 this time. sigh. and yawn.

    ReplyDelete

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