Thursday, August 5, 2010

Conversation with the Husband

Conversation with the husband last night:

Me: So I found this new blog today.

The husband: Busy day at work, huh?

Me: And this guy wrote a letter to frozen peas.

The husband: Frozen peas?

Me: Yes.  Frozen peas.

The husband: What's that?

Me: Fro-zen peee -eezzzzeee.

The husband: ?

Me: I'm not sure how else to explain it to you.  They are peas that are frozen.

The husband: Oh. Frozen peas.

Me: Isn't that what I said?

The husband: Why would anyone do that?

Me: Serioulsy. If you don't understand why someone would do that then you don't understand me.  I knew this was never going to work.

The husband: I don't get it.

Me (exasperated sigh):  You know.  Like Dear Table.  Dear Chair.  Dear Carpet, why are you so soft and fluffy?

The husband: Oh, okay.  So why was he writing to frozen peas?

Me: He got a vascectomy and was using the peas to ice his junk.

The husband: ?

Me: Did you fall and hit your head today?  The point is, in one of the comments, a guy said he had to undergo the surgery twice because the first time the doctor cut the the same tube twice.  How do you not realize you've already cut the tube and cut it again?

The husband (uncomfortable squirming): I don't want to talk about this.

Me: Do you think the peas in this pot pie once iced someone's junk?

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This is my second post for the day.  If you haven’t read the first one, scroll down and watch as some kick ass people get some well deserved awards.

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Mah Book Progress: one new paragraph

2 comments:

  1. No fair. Just because I show up late to your blog today doesn't mean I don't want an award. Or to be your favorite. I'm narcissistic like that.

    Don't tell P about this story. I'm making him get the snip when we're done procreating. The whole cutting tube conversation makes me squirm. And I don't even have junk.

    I expect a dramatic reading of aforementioned steamy sex scene at girls weekend. I'll earmuff Camilla. I think it would be best if you do it in a foreign accent. You can choose which one.

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  2. I have to second the dramatic reading in a foreign accent. I would like to add breathy to that. Dramatic, breathy reading in a foreign accent.

    And the kiddos see boobs on an hourly basis so somehow that makes it okay if they overhear a steamy sex scene-and I'm sure the characters are married so you would just be encouraging a healthy sex life in their future marriages.

    ReplyDelete

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